Overheard In New York

THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY

Dear All,

I had earlier recommended a site " Overheard In New York" which is about stray conversations overheard in and around New York by random strangers and submitted to the site. The site administrators then select the best and put them online. They also give 'Headlines' to the conversations which are sometimes more hilarious than the actual exchanges.

Here are a few selections from the site.

Enjoy

Vish

Not All Babies Should Be Photographed

Girl, looking at friend's cell phone: What is that?
Friend: A baby!Girl: Oh, I thought it was chicken. It looks like a barbecued chicken.

--4 Train

Glenn Close: Now That's Crazy

Black woman: Girl, I be crazy!

Friend: I know!

Black woman: I mean, that nigga break up with me, and I just start in with the rip-rip-rip, and I tore up his clothes, and his furs, right?

Friend: Right!

Black woman: And then he come home, and that nigga be cryin'! And I'm like, "No furs, no car, no nothin! You thought it was over? Now it's over!"

Friend: Yeah!

Black woman: And he can't do nothin' to me--I'll have his ass thrown in jail, you know. And then get him ass-raped.

Friend: What?

Black woman: Yeah, my dad's in prison. How about that, nigga? I put your ass in jail, then I get you ass-raped!

Friend: You are one crazy bitch!

Black woman: You know it! All right honey, here's the subway, gotta go, love you

--4 Train

A Double, If You Know What I Mean

Girl #1: Thank god we are in singles next year.

Girl #2: Yeah, I'm getting a vibrator.

--Barnard College

Jesus Isn't Always the Answer, Y'know

NYU journalism professor: Okay, so who invented the European letter press in the 15th century?

Attentive female student in the back: Jesus! (TA giggles)

--NYU

Grease!

Lady: What Broadway show is this?

Little girl: This ain't no Broadway show, it's McDonald's.

Lady, laughing: Oh. Well, it looks just like that Broadway show next door.

--McDonald's, Times Square

Americans Think TV's the Answer to Everything

Pretty young woman #1: It was an accident...

Pretty young woman #2, yelling: You threw a fucking television at me, while I was crying over my dead chinchilla! I was grieving! How could you?

--Ghandi Resteraunt, 1st Ave

Eventually Monologues Become Dialogues

Girl #1: I love masturbating.

Girl #2: Yeah, I totally love touching my vagina!

--Sultana Hookah Bar

Remind Him to Pick Up My Dry Cleaning While You're at It.

Middle-aged rich woman: Do you want to have time to have dinner tonight, honey?

Middle-aged rich man: How the hell should I know? Call my assistant!

Middle-aged rich woman: The next time I call your assistant will be the day after I've just fucked him.

--72nd St & Madison Ave

I'm Beginning to Worry You Won't Fit in with My Friends

Girl: Why do you fuck a sheep at the edge of a cliff? (waits) So the sheep pushes back.

Guy: I don't get it.

Girl: Do I have to explain sheep-fucking to you?!

--Prince & Mercer

Was That Before or After the Ghostbusters Took Over the Statue Of Liberty?

Girl: Ohhhh, this is the building that King Kong climbed up, right?

Guy: Yeah.

Girl: Wow. That would have been so scary to live here when that happened!

--In Line for Elevator at Empire State Building

For Some Reason, I Keep Ordering Things That Aren't On It

Friend #1: So how is your husband?

Friend #2: For some reason I keep on sleeping with his best friend.

Friend #1: What!

Friend #2: Yeah girl...I'm leaving him. So what do you want to order from the menu?

--Restaurant Queens

Like When My Girlfriend Said She's Slept with 3 Dozen People

Professor, holding up student's essay: This person made over three dozen grammatical errors on their essay.

Student, to another next to him: Oh my god...that means twelve!

--John Jay College