I, Me & Myself

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Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
If you know me, you know about me and if you don't... well then read my blogs and you will find out

Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Dear Folks,

I am back after a long absence and for those of you who are accustomed to reading my blogs I am truly sorry. Work pressures you see.

Any way two of my close friends celebrated their birthdays in the last week or two. Both of them are wives of two brothers who have been friends of mine for almost 2 ½ decades. Shraddha whose spouse is Prabir Shumshere Blah Blah Blah (the elder bro) was unusually perky and fresh when I called at 12:20 am on a cold and wet Kathmandu evening. More surprises lay in store as Prabir too sounded ‘awake’ for once. After chatting with them for a couple of minutes and having learnt that there had been no birthday celebration due to the advanced stage of pregnancy I helpfully suggested that since it was 20 odd minutes into her birthday and since they were awake they might as well,… you know, have a go at it.
And it was almost halfway into their sniggering that I understood that that was exactly what they had been doing when I had called.
So I think I can be excused and forgiven for saying:
Hope you had a Fucking Great Birthday.

Sanjok was the other one to celebrate her birthday. Her spouse is Pragengra Shumshere bhal bhal bhah or better known as Peggy (the younger bro) who is the Founder President of “The Art Shop” Gallery & Artist Extraordinaire but more on that later.

I have known Sanjok for almost 8 years now and she is a very humble, sweet and incredible naïve girl. Quick to react and equally quick to tears too. Doesn’t harbour any grudges and will say what’s on her mind. She was, before her marriage, a Shah and a member of the erstwhile Royal family of Syanjha (a province in Nepal) herself but never had the ego of Royalty. She is, as Tony Blair would but it, a People’s Princess. (I can imagine her beaming like a Cheshire cat now while reading this now.)
And for those of you who are interested in the details of others, let me clarify that Sanjok, unlike the others mentioned above, wasn’t having sex when I called to wish her. Well it was the middle of the day so….

About “The Art Shop” Gallery. Well. For those of you already in Kathmandu and for those of you who may visit Kathmandu in the future this should be a valuable piece of information. GO VISIT IT.

It is located bang in the middle of Durbar Marg (not sure how long that name is going to remain in Republican Nepal) and right above Benetton. It is a small, cozy and very well designed Gallery which displays and exhibits art work of most major Nepali artists as well as international ones. I forget his name now but there is a particular Texan (not related to Bush) who exhibits there quite frequently.
It is also a favourite haunt of many diplomats and Sanjok in her capacity as a Cultural Director and Curator of the gallery not only organizes those exhibitions but also manages to spice up the inaugurations with a speech or two.
That is saying a lot for a simple girl, albeit of royal blood, from rural Nepal. Now you must be wondering how I know this from all the way here in Abu Dhabi.
Well, I believe a number of Ambassadors and Charge d’affairs have been saying that she is not only eloquent but witty and sparkling. Their Excellencies seem to be quite enamoured with her and if we are not careful we might see a repeat of the Manisha Koirala-Crispin Conroy (ex Australian Ambassador) love story. Peggy, food for thought huh???

I am partial to the gallery not only because Peggy and Sanjok are dear friends of mine but also because, ahem ahem, I am the visualizer and designer of the whole place. Everything from the size and colour of the tiles to the spot-light fittings to the colour of the walls were decided by Peggy and myself with increasingly panicked but futile inputs from Sanjok.
And, I also happen to be the Chairman Emeritus of the Gallery. Ahem Ahem.

Hope they both had a Happy Birthday and a Great Year Ahead.


Till next time

Ciao 4rm Me

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Love is all Around



Dear All,



Happy Valentine's Day!



May your hearts be filled with love, on this and on every other day this coming year.


Ofcourse, this being Valentines Day, you must all be in a much better mood and have much better things to do than read some guy on his laptop spouting nonsense. So i will just leave you with some classic quotes that hopefully capture the "essence" of love.


Ciao


Vish




I love you - those three words have my life in them. - Alexandrea to Tsar Nicholas III


I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. - Mae West


Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? - Anon


No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. ~ Unknown


A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature To stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman

True love doesn't have a happy ending: True love doesn't have an ending. ~ Anonymous

Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ~ Elizabeth Browning


At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. - Plato


Love is a friendship set to music. - E. Joseph Cossman

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal


Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life. - Lord Byron


Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. - Yiddish proverb
There is a time for work. And a time for love. That leaves no other time. - Coco Chanel
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle
And in the end, the love you take Is equal to the love you make. - John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Sorry Cathy



CATHY,

I AM (WE ARE) SORRY.

Just look at the cat to know how we are feeling.

Dear All,

When friends forget birthdays, it becomes a challenge how to remind them that they have forgotten.

Some people just blurt it out, some sulk in silence, others are more imaginative and subtle.

Someone i know (and maybe you do too) likes to blog and some others just send us their birthday pictures on Yahoo.

So on behalf of all of us who forgot and myself too, Dear Cathy, We Are Sorry.

From the pictures on Yahoo! you look like you had a rocking time. Was looking very closely to see if your secret paramour was also there but couldn't figure out. Do point him out to us next time.

So once again from all of us here in blogosphere, Happy Belated Birthday! Have a great 25th year ahead. Will definitely wish you next year on your 26th b'day.

Ciao

Vish & The Others

Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Best Lines Are Unscripted

THE BEST LINES ARE UNSCRIPTED



Dear Readers,



Observant readers will have noticed that i have always shared fun things with you and today i happened to come across this crazy website called "Overheard in New York" (see the 'what i'm surfin' link). It is a collection of randon bits of conversation overheard in New York by readers. The website is also one of the winners of the Best Humorous Website awards.

To whet your appetite and for those of you who are too lazy to click on a link and actually read, i've compiled a few gems for your reading pleasure. Unscripted lines are really the best.

Have nice weekend.



Vish



Woman to another: Every time I get pregnant, I always worry, 'Who mah baby daddy?'

---*---

Union SquareStudent on cell: Hi, Dad! How are you? [Long pause] This is your son.
---*---

Man on cell: I had never used a dildo before, you know? It's just never come up, I guess. So I think, 'Okay, I'm not that young anymore -- I'll take what I can get...' and it was going fine, but then I didn't know you're not supposed to shove it in that fast.

---*---
Homeless guy yelling at everyone: Paul McCartney, you so rich, why you marry a woman with one leg? You could buy yourself one with two legs easily. Easily, dammit.

---*---
Ghetto guy: Yo, I gotta be careful and hurry up and catch this midget before she leave me.

---*---

Short lady: And I told him, 'I may be an ugly midget, but at least I'm not a Neanderthal.'

---*---

Little girl watching midget walk by: Look, Mommy! Mini-Me's wife!

---*---

Suit on cell: On one hand, you're married, and I don't need that kind of drama. On the other hand, you do owe me a blowjob

---*---

Flight attendant on intercom: Well, everybody, sorry for that delay -- the plane was late coming in from California. On the other hand, I have some good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance

---*---

Gate attendant: We will be boarding this flight to Atlanta shortly, but this flight is overbooked. At this time, we're asking for two volunteers to... Damn, bitch!

---*---

Pilot on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you aboard and thank you for choosing, uh, JetBlue... This is JetBlue, right?

---*---

Flight attendant: We want to thank you for flying with us today and remind you that there's no one who loves you or your money more than Delta.

---*---

Flight attendant on intercom: Please turn off your cell phones, pagers, iPods, laptops... Basically, anything that is bringing you joy right now, just turn it off

---*---

Flight attendant on intercom after landing: Well, we're here.

---*---

Train Conductor, not into mic: Yes, I know this is Broadway. Stop touching that -- just stay still for, like, five seconds... God! I swear to God and Jesus and whoever else, if you don't stop doin' things, I'm gonna leave you at the next stop! [Into mic] High Street, Brooklyn Bridge, this a Manhattan-bound F train. Stand clear of the closing doors, please. [Not into mic] That is it! This is so the last time I take you to work with me, you little-- [mic turns off].

---*---

Conductor: This is not a stop! This is not a stop! This is not a stop! [Train stops.] Okay, we're stopping, but I'm not opening the doors!

---*---

Queer on cell: Tell him that if his asshole tingles, he'll know I'm near

---*---

Man to friend: He's a fuckin' asshole... Even in a wheelchair he's a fuckin' asshole!

---*---

Girl on cell: It's gross! It's sick! I'm not asking anyone for Viagra for my dad! It's sick!
---*---

Chick: Good-bye [departs train].

Guy #1: Good-bye.

Guy #2: Eddie*, your sister is really pretty.

Guy #3: Don't call her that -- 'pretty' is something you say about nice girls, not whores like that.

Eddie: What are you talking about?

Guy #3: Ed, don't take it out on me, but at Dave's birthday party your sister was in the bedroom working for 10 dollars.

Eddie: ... I'm gonna kill Dave. Why didn't you tell me about this?!

Guy #3: Because she was right there!

[Silence, then Eddie departs.]

Guy #2: 10 dollars? What's her phone number? I've got 10 dollars.

Guy #3: I know, best 10 bucks I ever spent

---*---

Teen latina #1: ... And I asked this boy's name and he was like, 'Renaissance.' And I was like, 'Is that the name your mama gave you?' And he was like, 'Yeah, Renaissance.'

Teen latina #2: What's his name?

Teen latina #1: Renaissance. You know, like... Renaissance. Like... Renaissance. Ren-aissance. Like, when there used to be princesses and shit. Like, they'd dress all... You know, the Renaissance

---*---

Hairdresser #1: So, you're a practicing Muslim?

Hairdresser #2: Yep.

Hairdresser #1: So, do Muslims pray to God, or Mohammed, or both?

Hairdresser #2: I don't really get into the details

---*---

Scene girl: I don't understand why your mother doesn't like me...

Scene boyfriend: You stole my grandmother's medication.

Scene girl: She'll be dead in a week. Chill out

---*---

Girl #1: I looove Mexican food.

Girl #2: Me, too... just not people ordering it while they're having sex with me

---*---

Hipster chick: [Whispering]... Vagina. [Whispering]... Vagina. [Whispering]... Haha, vagina!

Six people collectively: Shut up!

Four-year-old boy: Mom, what's a vagina?

Mom: It's a word that only fucking inconsiderate people say around four-year-olds.

Four-year-old: Mom, what's 'fucking'?
---*---

Blonde #1: Look -- a statue of Gandhi.

Blonde #2: Look how skinny he is.

Blonde #1: I'm hella-jealous.

Blonde #2: Ditto. I wonder how he did it.

Blonde #1: Anorexia, probably.

Blonde #2: Figures. Maybe him and Nicole Richie are related [giggles].

Blonde #1: I don't get it -- she's not Indian, is she?

---*---
Tween girl running towards crime scene minutes after a shooting: We's gonna be on TV, nigga!

---*---
Conductor: If you do not fit through the physics of the train, please step aside -- this train is not made of spandex.

---*---

Teen girl: This is the shittiest day.

Wheelchairboy: Would you rather trade places with me?

Teen girl: I would, nigga -- I haven't sat down all day.