A woman wakes up on a cold freezing and bleak New York morning. She has just moved here from Calcutta after marrying a man in an arranged marriage who, as she says, was the “best of the lot”. After shyly waving him goodbye through the window she rummages in the cupboard and finds some cornflakes. A pure Bengali, born and bred, she pours some of it in a bowl and then, as only a Bengali can do, proceeds to add some chilly powder and some nuts to make a quick fix meal of ‘jhal-muri’.

Such subtle insights are what make The Namesake a truly wonderful movie experience. At its very core it is also a very emotional story with 3 very natural and pitch-perfect performances as its anchor.

When I first read The Namesake, I was sure that, as beautiful as it was it wasn’t a ‘filmable’ movie. There were lots of passages in the book which were just ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’. As fond as I am of Ms. Nair, I was not sure of how she would film the silences. The other book I felt this way about was Kiran Desai’s “The Inheritance of Loss”. Ms. Nair has done such a wonderful job of filming this movie and I can’t wait for someone else to film the Desai novel.

Tabu, Irfan and Kal Penn are all wonderfully human and perform with utmost conviction. Kal Penn in particular is a revelation, especially since the only film I’ve seen of his is the goofy “Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle”

There is also a small character role of Ms. Moushami Majumdar who is initially a geeky snob who says things like “I detest American television” but grows up to be quite a seductive vamp and its played to perfection by a fabulous Zuleikha Robinson. She not only looks hot, but spouts bits of French and like the French she also manages to have an extra marital affair. In short she has about 10 mins of screen time but she blazes the screen with her presence including a remixed cabaret-cum-striptease rendition of the old classic “Yeh Mera Dewanapan Hai” on her wedding night.

For most of us raised on a diet of Bollywood movies which are loud and dramatic with heightened emotions and music score to match (which by the way is not meant as a negative) this movie might seem a little ‘slow’. But bear with it for the first 15 min and you will be richly rewarded.

For all of us, who think of ourselves as wonderfully modern and independent, this movie makes us go back and appreciate our parents all over again. And that is its greatest strength.

As the film’s tagline goes….

“Sometimes The Greatest Journeys Are Those That Bring You Home”

Welcome Home!

Hiya,

All of you, Nepali or otherwise, must be aware of all the ‘changes’ happening in Nepal.

One of the saddest ones was turning Nepal into a Secular country.
It was after all the only Hindu kingdom in the world.
And then there was none….

I am not a religious fanatic like Narendra Modi or even a fanatic in a liberal garb like L K Advani but I am just feel that this was not necessary.
Who were we trying to appease? The 1.2 % Muslims in Nepal? They were not even asking for it and neither were they being discriminated against. Now after this, communal lines have begun to appear in the society and the country is getting divided along those very lines.

As some wise ass said If it Aint Broke Why Fix It?

Anyway even if we get over that, the other thing that needles me is that the King & Queen have been removed as Head & Patron of the Pashupati Temple Trust. This is now under the stewardship of the Prime Minister’s office.

I am not a fan of HM Gyanendra and am not defending him either so all you Maoist sympathizers, please, get off your pseudo moral high horses now.
By the way I wonder if the ‘supporters’ of the Maoists actually understand the teachings and doctrines of Mao or are they just mice being led along to a precipice by Pied Piper Prachanda?
Someone please tell them that when the Maoists come to power, land and houses in Nepal will not be ‘distributed’ to them free of cost. The rich will remain rich, the ones willing and able to work will go abroad and the poor & stupid will remain just that. Poor & Stupid. The land of Mao itself is turning capitalist and the fools here dream on.

My arguments are for another reason altogether. Its religious not political!

Whenever you read of Saudi King Abdullah in any Newspaper printed or published out of a Muslim country he is referred to as King of Saudi Arabia and Custodian of the Two Holy Sites. It is an official title and the Muslims are very particular and proud of the fact. Apart from all the oil money, a lot of his influence in the Arab /Muslim world comes from that. It is a deeply religious thing for them.

Nepal’s kings and their heirs (whether deposed no not) will all be Hindu’s.

In secular Nepal, however, you cannot stop a non-Hindu or even an atheist (as all Maoists should be) from becoming Prime Minister.
And before any of you claim otherwise, let me clarify that I have no objections to a non Hindu becoming PM.
Its just that I don’t relish the thought of a non-Hindu being the Patron of one of the holiest sites in Hinduism.

I am not a religious extremist because that would mean being intolerant of the others. I am not.
However I am proud of being a Hindu. That’s not fanatic is it?

Give it some thought.

I do benefits for all religions.

I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

- Bob Hope

On the occasion of FRIENDSHIP DAY let me wish all of you a very warm, blessed and friend filled year ahead

Like Marriage, Friendships (true ones atleast) are a constant challenge and need to be worked on everyday. Some days it gets easier and some days … well we just gotta be more … ahem….ahem… what’s the word…. Aaa… Tolerant.

Let me tell you a true story to better illustrate this point. Even though I am one of the characters in it, I shall, for the purpose of fairness, recount it in the third person.

The other character is my best friend of almost 2 ½ decades HRH Prabir SJB Rana.

OK here goes.

The Place : The huge school grounds in my Alma Mater, St. Joseph’s School. Darjeeling.
The Scene: The preliminary heats are being conducted for the school sports day.
The Year : 1984 (so they were both in Std IV)

-----*-----

Vish & Rana sat bored on the grass banks as they crushed and then mixed a packet of Wai Wai instant noodles. It was the last batch from the tucks they had got from home and the next batch was still a month away so they both shared a solitary packet and each warily measured the handful that the other was taking lest someone sneak out too much of the dry instant noodles.

The 800 meters heats were just beginning and a loud cheer went up from the boisterous crowd of boys assembled in groups of various sizes all along the grassy knolls surrounding the huge field.

“I don’t run as often as I used to do” said Rana as he tilted his head back and shoved a handful of wai wais into his mouth.
“I wasn’t aware you ran at all” replied Vish licking his fingers clean of the masala.
“Don’t you remember me in the marathon,” said Rana, almost choking on the dry noodles “I ran all the way to Lebong from school”
He was bewildered that his friend had forgotten this feat of his, even as he himself conveniently forgot to remember that he had been one of the last to finish the race and that too after taking a short cut.
“Anyway,” he added “if I can remember, you were on the back of a padre’s motorcycle with a sprained ankle as you crossed the line” he said emphasizing the word sprained.

The two little boys (little quite literally as not only were they in Std IV but also boarding school thin) sat munching their wai wai’s in silence as they both contemplated what had just been said. On any other day they would have probably laughed the whole matter off as they both accepted the fact that as talented as they were and as much tennis they played or as much as they swam, track & field was not really their area of expertise.

On this fateful day however, with the evening sun glinting off the fence in the distance something inside the little boys awoke and before the words could be taken back they were both standing in front of the Coach enlisting for the heats of the next event.

It happened to be the 2000 meters.

Two friends stood at the starting line suddenly turned into competitive beasts. As the gun went off so too did the motley crew of little pre adolescents. Each eager for a place in the evening sun.

The 2000 mtrs in this ground was usually about 8 circles of the huge field. Halfway into the first circle it was clear that the two little boys were being left way back. Still they huffed and puffed their way along the track trying, around the far corners, to cut a few meters as they ran outside the line of the inner track.
It was somewhere during the 3rd circle that they realized that there were some people behind them who were slowly beginning to catch up.
Filled with a sudden rush of adrenalin they increased what little they could of their speed but still the ones from the back began inching closer and closer as they finally overtook the two little boys.
It was only as they overtook, that the 2 boys realized that those were in fact the leaders of the race who were overtaking them by a full circle.
They were still last and second last.
Still they trudged on. Each willing the other to drop out but too proud to be the first to do so.
The boys on the banks sat like bored hyenas waiting to find a weak prey to pounce on and two crazy struggling boys was exactly what this boring evening required.
They began to cheer.
“Go Rana” screamed one side as the other side immediately overcome by the competitive streak usually present in school boys instinctively shouted “Go Vish Go”

Two friends were suddenly lifted and could almost see glory at the end of the line. The line was still almost 4 circles away but that did not deter the 2 fired up athletes.
They began to race each other.
However they had both long been fed on a diet of wai wai’s and stale biscuits and stolen sugar cubes (don’t ask) and were an equal match for each other.
Rana went ahead by a leg but a few paces later Vish was ahead again and so it went.

The rest of the spectators smelling blood cheered wildly from the side. Suddenly this routine prelims was beginning to look interesting. Hearing the cheers more and more boys from other areas in the school began filing towards the ground.

And then it happened.

Amidst all the noise and hoopla it wasn’t clear who began it but suddenly the two began to pull at each other. The more they pulled the more the crowd cheered. Even as they ran they now began to claw at each others shirts. Already exhausted after almost 4 rounds they two boys could not even hold on to each other’s shirts but still they ran on.

For the first time in the school’s illustrious 100 year history the race to be second last was suddenly worth it. Or so they thought.

Their latent friendship would still not allow them to physically punch at each other but they did everything else they could. They grabbed at each other’s hair, Rana tripped Vish but in the jumble he also fell.

Shirts in disarray, hair awry, scraped shins and bleeding knees they ran on and now even began to taunt each other.

And as suddenly as it had begun it all ended.

Did I mention here that both boys also suffered from a strange affliction that made them collapse in a fit of giggles at the most inopportune moments. Many years later when they would go to visit an aunt of Rana’s to offer condolences on her mother’s passing this fit would come again but that’s another story for another day.

Now on the field, bruised and bleeding they began to laugh uncontrollably. Their already slow progress became even slower and the fickle crowd began to jeer.

The Coach, Mr. Wangden Lama (a stern a man as any) was watching all the while from the sidelines and he now decided that enough was enough and marched in and dragged the struggling little boys off the field.

The two never raced again.

Many times in the years that followed they would hark back to that day and every time, without fail, it would bring a smile and always those memories ended in a hearty chuckle.

By the way they still haven’t decided who was in the ‘lead’ when they were unceremoniously yanked out.

Sometimes even adversities can be an excuse to smile.

Time indeed heals everything.

Happy Friendship Day!

Happy Women’s Day.

Hiya,

A big shout out to all the Ladies on international Women’s Day.
By the way is there a Men’s Day as well?
Never heard of it till now.

I dont know if this ad is appropriate for Women's Day
but what's a woman without a sense of humour

A friend of mine from my college days in Bangalore called me a few days back and proceeded to interview me for a paper he was preparing for his thesis on LOVE. I didn't know that one could write doctorate papers on such esoteric topics, else i'd be a Dr. many times over.

Anyway during the course of the conversation we got around to talking about what LOVE really is?
After thinking and discussing we finally came to the conclusion that there is nothing called love.

Come to think of it, Love is A.I.D.S. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

Love is the same. Just like HIV destroys your immune system little by little, so does love. Love also chips away at your natural defenses.

Mistrust leads to Trust, Solitude to Companionship, Anxiety to Relief…..

and slowly you ‘fall in love’.

What do you think? I know its kinda weird equating it to a disease but I think its precisely that. A disease in the best sense of the word.

Am I A Genius? or Am I A Genius?

Anyway Comments will be welcome on this.

And all you Laaadies, Have a Wonderful Women’s Day.

What do you do on these days anyway??

Ciao

Vish

Hiya Again,

This is my delayed OSCAR blog.

OSCARS are quite a tradition with me and i have been taking the day off and setting my alarm for 2:30 am every year for the past 5 years. This year was no different but a little boring. Some of the choices were not up to the mark and frankly Ellen was a lousy host. Vacumming near the stars???? Well lady (if you can call her that) you said one should aim low and you did. You really did.

The winners.

Forest Whitaker : Okey Dokey. Peter O'Toole deserved it more. If any of you get a chance to catch Venus on DVD don't miss it. Just before the oscars he was on a chat show and when he was asked if he could imagine himself with a 18 year old girl, like in the movie, he said he could do more than imagine it. And when he was asked if he was doing something like it presently, he deserved an oscar for just the way he deflected the question with some offer of jujubes. I guess you had to see it to believe it but for 3 whole minutes he made a whole act of a simple box of jujubes. Masterful.

Helen Mirren: Her performence seems to improve with every viewing of The Queen. If i were Her Majesty, i would honour her right away for making the royal family sympathetic again. Maybe the royals in Nepal can learn a lesson or two from this.

Alan Arkin: Thank god Eddie Murphy did not win. He huffed and puffed and left as soon as he lost. Sore losers dont deserve to win. But Mark Wahlberg deserved it more.

Jennifer Hudson: Political Correctness is going to far. Ask yourself this: Would she have won if she weren't black? Can you compare her with Cate Blanchett and say she is better? See the injustice now?

Martin Scorcese: About time and quite a great gesture when 3 other great directors came out to present him the award. Lucas, Cuppolla, Speilberg & Scorcese on stage together. That is power.

Nicole Kidman looked great and is going from strength to strength. Tom on the other hand seems to be ripe for beginning a cult. Come to think of it, hasn't he already?

Staying on Hollywood, Can some one please bury Anna Nicole Smith?

WOW, i had heard of media power but nothing prepars you for how well the media have turned the death of a former surgically enhanced stripper cum gold digger into a 24 hour circus. Wow!

Great AD for Hard Rock Hotel

(look closely at the tummy)

By the way after yesterday's post my dear friend Sanjok, complained that the post made it seem like she wasn't having enough sex unlike her senior in-laws. To clarify this issue let me say that Peggy is a quiet and sweet guy but as Phoebe from FRIENDS would say, when he does have a go at it, he can rattle the headboards like a sailor on leave.

When I was on a holiday with them in Thailand a couple of years ago, they managed to rattle the headboards almost thrice a day every day for 25 consequitive days.

How do i know this? Sanjok kindly volunteered this information during dinner and with her in laws present too.

Didn't i say she was a simple naive girl?

Till next time

Ciao from Me

Dear Folks,

I am back after a long absence and for those of you who are accustomed to reading my blogs I am truly sorry. Work pressures you see.

Any way two of my close friends celebrated their birthdays in the last week or two. Both of them are wives of two brothers who have been friends of mine for almost 2 ½ decades. Shraddha whose spouse is Prabir Shumshere Blah Blah Blah (the elder bro) was unusually perky and fresh when I called at 12:20 am on a cold and wet Kathmandu evening. More surprises lay in store as Prabir too sounded ‘awake’ for once. After chatting with them for a couple of minutes and having learnt that there had been no birthday celebration due to the advanced stage of pregnancy I helpfully suggested that since it was 20 odd minutes into her birthday and since they were awake they might as well,… you know, have a go at it.
And it was almost halfway into their sniggering that I understood that that was exactly what they had been doing when I had called.
So I think I can be excused and forgiven for saying:
Hope you had a Fucking Great Birthday.

Sanjok was the other one to celebrate her birthday. Her spouse is Pragengra Shumshere bhal bhal bhah or better known as Peggy (the younger bro) who is the Founder President of “The Art Shop” Gallery & Artist Extraordinaire but more on that later.

I have known Sanjok for almost 8 years now and she is a very humble, sweet and incredible naïve girl. Quick to react and equally quick to tears too. Doesn’t harbour any grudges and will say what’s on her mind. She was, before her marriage, a Shah and a member of the erstwhile Royal family of Syanjha (a province in Nepal) herself but never had the ego of Royalty. She is, as Tony Blair would but it, a People’s Princess. (I can imagine her beaming like a Cheshire cat now while reading this now.)
And for those of you who are interested in the details of others, let me clarify that Sanjok, unlike the others mentioned above, wasn’t having sex when I called to wish her. Well it was the middle of the day so….

About “The Art Shop” Gallery. Well. For those of you already in Kathmandu and for those of you who may visit Kathmandu in the future this should be a valuable piece of information. GO VISIT IT.

It is located bang in the middle of Durbar Marg (not sure how long that name is going to remain in Republican Nepal) and right above Benetton. It is a small, cozy and very well designed Gallery which displays and exhibits art work of most major Nepali artists as well as international ones. I forget his name now but there is a particular Texan (not related to Bush) who exhibits there quite frequently.
It is also a favourite haunt of many diplomats and Sanjok in her capacity as a Cultural Director and Curator of the gallery not only organizes those exhibitions but also manages to spice up the inaugurations with a speech or two.
That is saying a lot for a simple girl, albeit of royal blood, from rural Nepal. Now you must be wondering how I know this from all the way here in Abu Dhabi.
Well, I believe a number of Ambassadors and Charge d’affairs have been saying that she is not only eloquent but witty and sparkling. Their Excellencies seem to be quite enamoured with her and if we are not careful we might see a repeat of the Manisha Koirala-Crispin Conroy (ex Australian Ambassador) love story. Peggy, food for thought huh???

I am partial to the gallery not only because Peggy and Sanjok are dear friends of mine but also because, ahem ahem, I am the visualizer and designer of the whole place. Everything from the size and colour of the tiles to the spot-light fittings to the colour of the walls were decided by Peggy and myself with increasingly panicked but futile inputs from Sanjok.
And, I also happen to be the Chairman Emeritus of the Gallery. Ahem Ahem.

Hope they both had a Happy Birthday and a Great Year Ahead.


Till next time

Ciao 4rm Me

Love is all Around

Dear All,

Happy Valentine's Day!

May your hearts be filled with love, on this and on every other day this coming year.

Ofcourse, this being Valentines Day, you must all be in a much better mood and have much better things to do than read some guy on his laptop spouting nonsense. So i will just leave you with some classic quotes that hopefully capture the "essence" of love.

Ciao

Vish

I love you - those three words have my life in them. - Alexandrea to Tsar Nicholas III

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. - Mae West

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? - Anon

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. ~ Unknown

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature To stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman

True love doesn't have a happy ending: True love doesn't have an ending. ~ Anonymous

Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ~ Elizabeth Browning

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

Love is a friendship set to music. - E. Joseph Cossman

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life. - Lord Byron

Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. - Yiddish proverb

There is a time for work. And a time for love. That leaves no other time. - Coco Chanel

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

And in the end, the love you take Is equal to the love you make. - John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Sorry Cathy

CATHY,

I AM (WE ARE) SORRY.

Just look at the cat to know how we are feeling.

Dear All,

When friends forget birthdays, it becomes a challenge how to remind them that they have forgotten.

Some people just blurt it out, some sulk in silence, others are more imaginative and subtle.

Someone i know (and maybe you do too) likes to blog and some others just send us their birthday pictures on Yahoo.

So on behalf of all of us who forgot and myself too, Dear Cathy, We Are Sorry.

From the pictures on Yahoo! you look like you had a rocking time. Was looking very closely to see if your secret paramour was also there but couldn't figure out. Do point him out to us next time.

So once again from all of us here in blogosphere, Happy Belated Birthday! Have a great 25th year ahead. Will definitely wish you next year on your 26th b'day.

Ciao

Vish & The Others

The Best Lines Are Unscripted

THE BEST LINES ARE UNSCRIPTED

Dear Readers,



Observant readers will have noticed that i have always shared fun things with you and today i happened to come across this crazy website called "Overheard in New York" (see the 'what i'm surfin' link). It is a collection of randon bits of conversation overheard in New York by readers. The website is also one of the winners of the Best Humorous Website awards.

To whet your appetite and for those of you who are too lazy to click on a link and actually read, i've compiled a few gems for your reading pleasure. Unscripted lines are really the best.

Have nice weekend.



Vish

Woman to another: Every time I get pregnant, I always worry, 'Who mah baby daddy?'

---*---

Union SquareStudent on cell: Hi, Dad! How are you? [Long pause] This is your son.
---*---

Man on cell: I had never used a dildo before, you know? It's just never come up, I guess. So I think, 'Okay, I'm not that young anymore -- I'll take what I can get...' and it was going fine, but then I didn't know you're not supposed to shove it in that fast.

---*---
Homeless guy yelling at everyone: Paul McCartney, you so rich, why you marry a woman with one leg? You could buy yourself one with two legs easily. Easily, dammit.

---*---
Ghetto guy: Yo, I gotta be careful and hurry up and catch this midget before she leave me.

---*---

Short lady: And I told him, 'I may be an ugly midget, but at least I'm not a Neanderthal.'

---*---

Little girl watching midget walk by: Look, Mommy! Mini-Me's wife!

---*---

Suit on cell: On one hand, you're married, and I don't need that kind of drama. On the other hand, you do owe me a blowjob

---*---

Flight attendant on intercom: Well, everybody, sorry for that delay -- the plane was late coming in from California. On the other hand, I have some good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance

---*---

Gate attendant: We will be boarding this flight to Atlanta shortly, but this flight is overbooked. At this time, we're asking for two volunteers to... Damn, bitch!

---*---

Pilot on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you aboard and thank you for choosing, uh, JetBlue... This is JetBlue, right?

---*---

Flight attendant: We want to thank you for flying with us today and remind you that there's no one who loves you or your money more than Delta.

---*---

Flight attendant on intercom: Please turn off your cell phones, pagers, iPods, laptops... Basically, anything that is bringing you joy right now, just turn it off

---*---

Flight attendant on intercom after landing: Well, we're here.

---*---

Train Conductor, not into mic: Yes, I know this is Broadway. Stop touching that -- just stay still for, like, five seconds... God! I swear to God and Jesus and whoever else, if you don't stop doin' things, I'm gonna leave you at the next stop! [Into mic] High Street, Brooklyn Bridge, this a Manhattan-bound F train. Stand clear of the closing doors, please. [Not into mic] That is it! This is so the last time I take you to work with me, you little-- [mic turns off].

---*---

Conductor: This is not a stop! This is not a stop! This is not a stop! [Train stops.] Okay, we're stopping, but I'm not opening the doors!

---*---

Queer on cell: Tell him that if his asshole tingles, he'll know I'm near

---*---

Man to friend: He's a fuckin' asshole... Even in a wheelchair he's a fuckin' asshole!

---*---

Girl on cell: It's gross! It's sick! I'm not asking anyone for Viagra for my dad! It's sick!
---*---

Chick: Good-bye [departs train].

Guy #1: Good-bye.

Guy #2: Eddie*, your sister is really pretty.

Guy #3: Don't call her that -- 'pretty' is something you say about nice girls, not whores like that.

Eddie: What are you talking about?

Guy #3: Ed, don't take it out on me, but at Dave's birthday party your sister was in the bedroom working for 10 dollars.

Eddie: ... I'm gonna kill Dave. Why didn't you tell me about this?!

Guy #3: Because she was right there!

[Silence, then Eddie departs.]

Guy #2: 10 dollars? What's her phone number? I've got 10 dollars.

Guy #3: I know, best 10 bucks I ever spent

---*---

Teen latina #1: ... And I asked this boy's name and he was like, 'Renaissance.' And I was like, 'Is that the name your mama gave you?' And he was like, 'Yeah, Renaissance.'

Teen latina #2: What's his name?

Teen latina #1: Renaissance. You know, like... Renaissance. Like... Renaissance. Ren-aissance. Like, when there used to be princesses and shit. Like, they'd dress all... You know, the Renaissance

---*---

Hairdresser #1: So, you're a practicing Muslim?

Hairdresser #2: Yep.

Hairdresser #1: So, do Muslims pray to God, or Mohammed, or both?

Hairdresser #2: I don't really get into the details

---*---

Scene girl: I don't understand why your mother doesn't like me...

Scene boyfriend: You stole my grandmother's medication.

Scene girl: She'll be dead in a week. Chill out

---*---

Girl #1: I looove Mexican food.

Girl #2: Me, too... just not people ordering it while they're having sex with me

---*---

Hipster chick: [Whispering]... Vagina. [Whispering]... Vagina. [Whispering]... Haha, vagina!

Six people collectively: Shut up!

Four-year-old boy: Mom, what's a vagina?

Mom: It's a word that only fucking inconsiderate people say around four-year-olds.

Four-year-old: Mom, what's 'fucking'?
---*---
Blonde #1: Look -- a statue of Gandhi.

Blonde #2: Look how skinny he is.

Blonde #1: I'm hella-jealous.

Blonde #2: Ditto. I wonder how he did it.

Blonde #1: Anorexia, probably.

Blonde #2: Figures. Maybe him and Nicole Richie are related [giggles].

Blonde #1: I don't get it -- she's not Indian, is she?

---*---
Tween girl running towards crime scene minutes after a shooting: We's gonna be on TV, nigga!

---*---
Conductor: If you do not fit through the physics of the train, please step aside -- this train is not made of spandex.

---*---

Teen girl: This is the shittiest day.

Wheelchairboy: Would you rather trade places with me?

Teen girl: I would, nigga -- I haven't sat down all day.