Royal Facebook

LOOK WHO'S ON FACEBOOK

Technology can sometimes make the oddest bedfellows.

While Facebook is very popular with youngsters, a new and very surprising addition is Sheikh Mohammed the Ruler of Dubai.

www.facebook.com/sheikhmohammed

screen-grab of Sheikh Mohammed's homepage

After dispelling the initial doubts about this being a bogus account (verified by the Gulf News in a headline grabbing report) I checked his profile and found to my surprise that he is a very down-to-earth person with simple values etc. Actually not very surprising because he has always been known for his hands-on approach to ruling Dubai.

And while I hate the blind sycophancy that sometimes surround absolute monarchies, His Highness is really a visionary ruler and Dubai today is what it is simply because of him.

The only time he is any different from you and me is when you check out his Position in his Profile (see below).

With his youngest daughter on his private plane

A lot of pictures are also attached in his photo gallery showing him, like any other father with his children.

With the new central minister in India, Shashi Tharoor being in the news today for collecting 10,000 followers on Twitter, it does beg the question;

Is this the new way forward for the politicians?

Check out his profile below. Especially interesting are his Religious Views and that Gandhi’s My Experiments With Truth is one of his favourite books.

Have a great day ahead

Ciao

Vish

With his sons Hamdan (the current Crown Prince) and Rashid taken many many years ago.

Basic Information

Gender: Male
Birthday: 15 July
Hometown: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Relationship Status: Married
Political Views: Contemporary challenges prompt us to think in innovative ways to achieve sustainable development
Religious Views: As a Muslim, I honor all religious traditions, and respect people regardless of their faith

Personal Information

Activities: I am passionate about sports, particularly endurance racing. I enjoy and love horse riding with my family members. I enjoy the outdoors, especially the Arabian desert experience. I relish visiting cultural institutions throughout the Emirates, the Middle East, and during my other international travels. I often go to cultural gatherings. Writing Nabati (traditional Arabic poetry) has been a life-long passion.

Favourite Books:"The Story of My Experiments With Truth, " by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi; "The Prophet, " by Kahlil Gibran; "War and Peace, " by Leo Tolstoy

About me:
I was brought up in a family that believed in the importance of visionary public service and philanthropy and I have tried to live these values in my everyday life. I am proud of intiating Dubai Cares, Noor Dubai and the Mohammed bin Rashid Foundation. Their programs have helped transform the lives of millions of people, especially children, around the world. I also believe in the importance of encouraging young people to become leaders in their field: one reason why I created the Young Arab Leaders (YAL) program. One’s experiences and personal history shape who they are, and by sharing the lessons I have learned during my lifetime I hope I can continue to have a positive effect on others, especially young people.

Visiting a citizen in Dubai

Work

Position:Vice President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, Ruler of Dubai

Description:As Vice President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, I work with President His Highness Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan. I preside over Cabinet meetings. I am also Ruler of Dubai, and continue to promote our vision of sustainable economic development and the nation's well-being.

Burger Fellatio

HOW TO 'BLOW' A BURGER

Where do you draw the line at crudeness in ads? In an ever increasing ad market you do need to be different to stand out and survive but sometimes it can go a little too far. Especially when its for food.

Burger King has unveiled a new ad for its 7-inch-long burger and quite frankly, for me, it literally screams fellatio—from the “hot beef with creamy mayo” to the “open mouth of a wide-eyed blond.”

And the slogan—“It’ll BLOW your mind away”—is as subtle as a sledge hammer, and the fine print too is filled with heavy breathing. "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER"

SERIOUSLY ???

It is the most overtly blow-jobby ad I've ever seen (with the girl scarily resembling a blow-up doll), the only thing this ad is missing, is the disclaimer that you'll actually get fewer blow-jobs if you eat these sandwiches.

I personally think it’s way over the line in its suggestiveness, but I’m not here to judge. I am only going to advise that they not make this a kids meal. Yes, and don’t put too much mayo on this sandwich because if that lady doesn't 'eat' it properly, mayo might get all over her face.

And also, since its is quite clear that size matters to some people, does Burger King even realize that Subway has footlong sandwiches? That’s like 12 inches, right?

But , jokes apart, I have to ask one last, but important question:

Will any heterosexual man ever want to eat the BK Super Seven Incher?

It’s almost like the ad is screaming, “Hey! Put 7 inches of meat in your mouth.” And it’s doing it in an overtly sexual way that does not have a clear target. Is this ad for men, women, or (god forbid) kids?

What are your thoughts?? Would you have it?

Have a Nice Day

Luv

Vish

Ayotallah, Obama & Bush

DAILY DOSE OF HUMOUR (Sorry i don't spell like the Yankees)

Dear All,

Andy Borowitz is one of the funniest writers currently working in the US and his topical write-up's are to die for.

There is nothing or no one he won't make fun of... Here's a recent selection of a 3 of his posts....

Enjoy

Vish

Ayatollah Warns Iranians: ‘I am Following You All on Twitter'
Aims to Stifle Opposition Tweets

In a nationally televised speech in Iran today, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei ordered his countrymen not to stage further protests, warning the nation, "I am following you all on Twitter."

To back up his words, the Supreme Leader then displayed his Twitter account page, showing that he was indeed following 65,875,224 people, but had only one follower, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

The Ayatollah's announcement sent a chill up the spines of opposition leaders, most of whom assumed that the Supreme Leader did not have a Twitter account.

"You mean he's been reading all my tweets?" said opposition organizer Mohsen Sobhi. "Oh, shit."

Obama Presents Saudi King With 2009 Chevy Malibu
Hopes to Make Room for 2010's

In his first major trip to the Middle East since taking the oath of office, President Barack Obama today presented Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah with a 2009 Chevy Malibu.

While it is highly unorthodox for a U.S. president to present a foreign leader with a midsized automobile, Mr. Obama was upbeat during the presentation, telling the Saudi monarch, "If you like it, there's plenty more where that came from."

Mr. Obama touted the Malibu's "fantastic gas mileage," adding, "not that you'd have any trouble getting gas around here."

White House sources said that they hoped Mr. Obama's goodwill gesture would also serve to promote the American auto industry, or as one source put it, "If King Abdullah likes the Malibu, maybe he'll give one to each of his wives. That'll help make room for the 2010's."

But the Saudi king seemed to be skeptical of the gift, hesitating a moment as Mr. Obama handed him the keys.

"Is it going to be hard to get parts for this?" he asked.

Bush Charges $150,000 to Speak; $1.5 Million to Speak in English
Cites ‘Extra Effort' Required

Former president George W. Bush has let it be known that he is available to speak on the corporate lecture circuit for $150,000 and will be willing to speak in English for $1.5 million.

Tracy Klugian, Mr. Bush's agent and head of the Ex-Presidential Speakers Bureau, explained the disparity in fees: "He is charging ten times as much to speak in English because it requires ten times the effort."

Mr. Bush came to the decision to charge the higher rate for speaking in English after an appearance in Toronto last week with former President Bill Clinton, an experience which he found "draining."

"President Bush didn't realize he was expected to speak in English at the event, since it was in Canada," his agent explained.

Mr. Klugian said that despite the lofty fee, he had already fielded several offers from corporations who would like to hear the former President speak in English: "I think it's the novelty factor."

But the President's agent said he has had to politely decline requests to have Mr. Bush speak in complete sentences: "I tell them, ‘Thanks, but you can't afford that.'"

Can Indians Be Racists ??

FLOODGATES HAVE OPENED.

With the recent over-reaction in the media about the alleged racist attacks in Australia a host of indians have come forward to give a counter view.

Very Refreshing and very, very heartening.

Do enjoy this one which is written particularly well and cheekily.

Luv

Vish

Brownian Notions
The prejudice NRIs exhibit is more complex than what they face
Sanjay Suri

"Our women don't drive BMWs," the Gujarati mum told me some time back. Meaning they're supposed not to go for men who may be "Black, Muslim or White". And of the few who do slip? She thought that would be a family calamity of varying shades.

Going out with a black man would bring shame, but with a white chap also some embarrassment.

We like fairness in our species, not the whiteness of the other;

there's such a world of difference between the two, a whole other language of being.

Whiteness works best for an Indian when it informs a lighter shade of your own kind.

In home after home, the Indian in London loves to show off white friends, but never quite a white spouse. "Boab," the Patel will say, meaning Bob, who is of course white.

There's nothing an Indian loves more than showing off an ease with white Brits, particularly in the presence of a visiting Indian from India. But he'd want for a daughter-in-law a fair Patel, not a white Brit.

White in marriage is not quite a derailment, but it is off the approved track, which for a woman is to remain virgin until at 22 she marries her own sort of Indian with property, prospects and a BMW of the motoring kind.

For the Indian male, for an overwhelming most at any rate, white is for friendship—and sex.

For the Indian male, to sleep with a white woman—do it to a white woman rather, speaking of the feel of it—is a mandatory conquest without which the migration experience is never complete.

This is desire that carries a political thrust. A way of coming to terms with the richer, ruling world that has looked down on us, that we think still does; the sexual act feels like a happy and relatively quick correction of that imbalance. White sex legitimises the male in the world he has feared or held in awe; it's the invisible stamp on our inner passport.

Indians in the UK can be entirely unembarrassed or even unselfconscious in using racist language. "Dhoriyos" is what Gujaratis call white people. That doesn't exactly translate to 'white nigger', but it is only a lesser expression of contempt along the same lines. And blacks for the Gujaratis are 'kaaliyao', without the comparative neutrality of the word 'black' in English. The Punjabis who migrated over from East Africa call them 'nherey' (darkness).

And still, there is no connection between accusing white people of racism towards Indians, and our own racism towards others.Towards blacks especially. And from none more than the Indians who came to Britain from East Africa. Visiting Uganda, I was far from sorry to see Kampala Road in the heart of the capital reclaimed by local people, who became coolies to Indians the way the early Indian migrants came as coolies in Britain. Except that Britain made space for Indians to move on, and they did; the East African Indians wouldn't give black people space in their own land. Had Idi Amin not been so evidently insane, he might just be a sympathetic figure.

A reason to soften anger with fellow Indians over this can only be that black people are just as racist towards Indians. It's just that everyone says this sort of thing freely only among their own. I've never been racially abused in any upfront sort of way in Britain, but this is not to say that minds all around have been cleansed of colour, and views that fasten on to colour.

But an Indian probably has less to fear by way of an attack from a white racist as from forms of exclusion from their own because the colour might not be light enough.It's crude, bizarre even, to speak of people as bearers of some skin colour. It passes because all around so much of political and personal living is coloured by it.

It has been a matter of some relief to me these years in England that I've never had to be a dark Indian woman looking for a husband.I suspect darkness would not stand between me and either a black man or a white man. With an Indian it would; she might never get as far as meeting the fellow. This is short of a statistical disaster yet because most Punjabis and Gujaratis, who between them are most Indians in Britain, sit around the middle shades of the "wheatish" complexion that the police in India use to describe every missing person.

In Britain, miss those shades, and you might miss out on an Indian sort of life.

Better then with someone less racist than Indian, which might mean almost everyone else.

(The writer is Outlook's London correspondent and has written Brideless in Wembley, a collection of non-fiction Indian stories set in Britain.)

New York movie review.

NEW YORK is PRETTY HOLLYWOOD

SPOILER ALERT: Some storylines are revealed.

I have my own strange way of judging a movie. However it may have begun, at the very end, when the credits are about to appear, if the audience is reluctant to get up, then it pretty much guarantees that you’ve watched a decent flick.

New York is pretty much the same. It starts off kinda slow but by the end of the movie, without knowing you begin to care for the characters.

If you don’t know much about the movie then go for it with a clean slate and let it surprise you. And here the surprises are very well incorporated.
And I don’t mean it in the “RACE” kinda way where there were twists and turns just for the sake of shock value.

Kabir Khan whose previous movie was the debut “Kabul Express” is actually a documentary maker and maybe its this non-bollywood background but there is a certain un-jaded freshness about many scenes which could have become the usual Hindi clichés.

In the Hai Junoon song watch how realistically yet warmly the growing friendship between the 3 characters are shown. And in the Mere Saath Chal song John’s pain and hesitancy slowly blossoms in Katrina’s love and again its done refreshingly well. Nothing choreographed about it.

Neil Nitin Mukesh is very uneven. Sometimes he overacts (watch him when he find out Kat loves John and you’ll think that with all the face twitching going on he’s about to sneeze) and sometimes he very good (in his scenes with John there is a palpable sense of friendship and when he joins the college his gauche act is also very well done.
I just wonder if he can make a conventional Hindi hero though. It can never be a good sign when your lips and cheeks are more pink than the heroine’s. And the poor fellow isn’t even using make-up. Its natural.

Katrina is just about okay in the first half but you are too dazzled by her beauty to notice. However in the second half she’s actually good and does the heavy duty emotional scenes very convincingly. Atleast I think so or maybe I was still dazzled by her beauty.

John sadly is the weakest link. To give him credit he is not bad at all. Infact he is pretty decent. The problem is that in this role much is expected of him and while he can smile shyly and flex his muscles, his acting leaves much to be desired. After Neil shoots a man, watch him overreact.

“Tu Paagal Ho Gaya Hai Kya” he screams while violently shaking his own head and you wonder for a moment if he is the one going insane. However he is very convincing in the torture scenes.

And the basic purpose of his casting is to get the women into the theatres and serve as eye-candy and you have to agree that he does that commendably. Fair Enough.

P.S. In the detention scene, when John is pee-ed on and humiliated, he breaks down and weeps but its another character who just looks his way and cries silently and your heart goes out to him. Great acting in such a subtle manner and it only highlights just how weak John’s acting is.

The best thing about this movie for me was that among all the twists and turns the characters all behave within the realm of reason. Almost every action is justified and very reasonable.

When Kat finally reveals she knows about John’s secret, her reason is as simple as it is credible. “If he thinks I don’t know about him, then there’s hope he can still come back to me” she says and you cant help but see reason in a wife’s blind love.

And what to say of Irrfan Khan? At the end when John & Kat’s son asks him if he likes pasta, he pauses, looks the other way and says “Yes….Yes I Like Pasta Baby” and you smile becoz you know he doesn’t.

Also very good was the way the World Trade Centre Twin Towers are subtly placed throughout the movie & the debate on terrorism too wasnt sermonising at all.

Not in your face as Hindi Movies tend to usually do and the special effects too are pretty impressive. It doesn’t look like it was made in an amateur’s studio.

Hindi movies are finally growing up.

Hurrah for that atleast.

Happy Viewing.

Crazy Cartoons & Crazier Humans.

DILBERT & AISHWARY'S CRAZY MOM-IN-LAW

Dear Readers,

The AB-FAB AD's sequence has been very popular but is currently being discontinued.

In its place will be tongue-in-cheek quotes for life from Dilbert.

For those who may not know Dilbert here’s a quick intro (courtesy Wikipedia).

Dilbert (first published April 16, 1989) is an American comic strip written and drawn by Scott Adams. Dilbert is known for its satirical office humor about a white-collar, micromanaged office featuring the engineer Dilbert as the title character.

Dilbert has a rare condition characterized by an extreme intuition about all things mechanical and electrical (and utter social ineptitude). Although his ideas are typically sensible and occasionally even revolutionary, they are seldom carried out because of his powerlessness. He is easily frustrated by the incompetence of his co-workers (most often the Pointy-Haired Boss) and is often sarcastic and snide.

Dilbert lives with his pets, Dogbert and Ratbert. Dilbert often interacts with his co-workers, most commonly including Alice, Wally and Asok (the Indian who passed out of IIT).

He is currently single and has few friends as a result of his poor social skills, although he has been on many dates and was in a relationship with a woman named Liz for two years between 1994 and 1996. While he is frequently seen having dates with eligible women, the dates almost invariably end in disaster, usually in surreal and bizarre ways.

Dilbert treats the Pointy-Haired Boss like the plague and has very little loyalty towards him or the company.

Dilbert's mother appears once in a while in the comic. While apparently a great Scrabble player, she has been accused of cheating in many strips with "counterfeit vowels".
Dilbert appears in 2000 newspapers worldwide in 65 countries and 25 languages

Now back to more pressing matters :-)

At the recently concluded IIFA awards Priyanka Chopra got the Best Actress award for Fashion (as she has been with almost every other award).
Fair Enough.

Ashutosh Gowarikar then went up to receive the Best Director award for Jodha-Akbar. And created a firestorm.

The first thing he uttered after grabbing the mike was, 'Priyanka I Love you, but I don't know how you got the award for Best Actress when Aishwarya was also nominated in the same category for Jodhaa Akbar'.

A hush fell over the entire gathering but the crazy man continued to spout nonsense and added, "Maybe it is because you are very hard-working and she is a natural." Implying, of course that Priyanka wasn’t a natural actress.

To make the matters worse he said, "Jayaji (Bachachan and Aishwarya’s mom-in-law) was just asking me the same thing."

A horrified industry was shocked, not just at this man’s cheap and inappropriate remarks but also for dragging Jaya Bachchan into this mess.

But then the truth came out.

Ashutosh hadn’t dragged her, the crazy woman had practically orchestrated the whole drama.

Crazy-Jaya says: "First of all it is being presumed that Ashutosh unnecessarily mentioned my name regarding Aishwarya's omission from the awards. The fact is, I suggested he bring up the question on stage at IIFA. We were discussing why Aishwarya has not been given any award for 'Jodhaa Akbar' and I suggested Ashutosh bring up the matter. So when he mentioned my name, he wasn't doing anything wrong," she said.

Priyanka Chopra is a "good actress" but daughter-in-law Aishwarya Rai was more deserving of the best actress award for her work in Jodhaa Akbar, says Jaya Bachchan.

"For all I know she must be really good in Fashion. I haven't seen it. But I've seen Priyanka's work in Dostana and liked it. She's undoubtedly a good actress," said Jaya (clearly not able to detect the hypocrisy in her words) .

"I don't have any objection to her winning the award at IIFA. But I wonder why Aishwarya's fine performance was ignored. I think she richly deserved recognition for her work," she added.

Now ofcourse a couple of things stand out.

Nepotism is bad enough but Craziness?

Aishwarya wasn’t ignored. She was nominated. But maybe its not enough for the Bachchans as they feel they are above everyone else.

And as Crazy-Jaya herself says, she hasn’t watched Fashion. So how does she justify her comments?

Now the Bollywood awards are all a joke with just a semblance of fairness about them but this is taking things to new heights. Maybe too much time with that pimp Amar Singh is clouding Crazy-Jaya’s judgements.

Just makes me wonder who is crazier, Dilbert or The Bachchans? Cartoons or Humans?

Between Us.

Have a Nice weekend.

Ciao

Luv

Vish

Of Fake Accents & Statuses

A GOAT A DAY KEEPS A MAYTE AWAY

Dear All,

I was reading the latest issue of GQ India and there was a wonderful article about Bollywood stars and their fake twangs.

The reason I am reminded of this article this morning is becoz of a colleague of mine who also seems to acquire some of the strangest accents ever so often. Now if you read correctly you will see that I wrote accents (plural).

This is because he can’t seem to decide what (or which) it will be every morning.

The malaise seems to have spread to his son too.

He called his father ‘baba’ initially which turned into ‘daddy’ and then into ‘papa’ and has now settled into a very nasal & French ‘pah-pah’ so much so that you can’t quite be sure if he is asking for his dad or having an asthma attack.

My colleague’s response to that of course varies depending on which colleague he last spoke to.

“Yo Son” if the colleague was American, “Yes Sonny Boy” if British & even a “Yea Me Lad” if Scottish (never mind that the colleagues themselves never speak like that to their children).

One of the small mercies is that we don’t have a more varied workforce.


Many of you must already be familiar with Salman Khan’s out-of-this-world accent. Last week his first cross-over film, Marigold was being shown on one of the channels here.

Starring with him is Ali Larter (of HEROES and the recent OBSESSED with Beyonce fame).

Being in English this film does not have subtitles but every time Salman speaks you actually strain to understand what he is saying and by the look on her face, Ms Larter seems to be equally perplexed too.

If you go back to my post on Saalam-E-Ishq when it released, you will find how Salman had managed to take a simple Rahul and turn it into Raoooooool.
The movie probably flopped because audiences could not make up their mind if Salman was Indian or Spanish.

Ronit Roy (the TV actor) who also happens to run one of the biggest celeb security agencies in Bombay speaks perfectly normal English.

Last month, however, when Naomi Campbell & Kylie visited India, he was one of the escorts and was overheard telling the paparazzi “Yo Getcha Oucha Ma Face”.

The vernacular reporters thought he was speaking English while the English reporters thought he was speaking Marathi.

It was worse with Kylie when he became her de-facto spokesperson and kept telling reporters “She’s tired Mayte, Move Out Of The Way Mayte, Thoda Rasta Do Mayte” and soo confused both the Paps and Kylie that she finally stepped in and said “It’s Okay Mate, I’ll deal with it”.

To which he replied almost immediately " Yes Ma'am Mayte"

So does a fake accent actually elevate your social standing or make you a laughing stock?

Think about it Mayte.

And before I go just one more thing about Facebook.

Many of my friends have their relationship status as “Complicated”

What IS that?

You can be Single, Married, Divorced, In A Relationship or Engaged.

Isn’t that choice enough? What’s Complicated?

As another of my outspoken friends said quite so eloquently (or not)

“The only way it can be complicated is if you are Fucking a Goat”

Till next time.

Ciao

Vish

Mother's and Cars

AN AD A DAY...

HI,

Just got back today from an extended weekend away in the mountains with some friends and too tired to blog....

Saw something and could not resist sharing it with you.

Sometimes an ad can tell an important message in such a simple and heartwarming manner that you actually identify with it.

Enjoy.

Vish

MOVIES, MASTI, MAGIC

KAMBAKTH BOLLYWOOD AAJ KAL

Followers of Bollywood probably know that after a 2 month stand-off between the Producers Union and the Multiplexes got resolved, hindi movies are finally beginning to release from this week.

In the next few months some very interesting ones are coming and in case you are not aware of them (like my friend in Qatar who insists he has only free channels which dont show hindi movies) here's a preview of some of them.

Enjoy

Vish

JAIL

Pseudo realistic film-maker, Madhur Bhandarkar's follow-up to the over-acclaimed FASHION. Neil Nitin Mukesh apparently stripped nude for the movie, a scene, which was subsequently cut by the censors.



KAMBAKTH ISHQ

Akshay Kumar & Kareena Kapoor is what looks a mindless fun, pukka bollywood movie. Sly Stallone, Denise Richards & the last Superman, Brandon Routh also make guest appearances, which is making the gora-fixated indian populace almost salivate in antcipation.



NEW YORK

Kabir Khan's second movie after the well recieved but flop, Kabul Express again stars John Abraham but this time with Neil Nitin Mukesh and Katrina Kaif. Its about the harassment faced by Indians (muslims) after 9/11 and has John going fully nude this time. The censors haven't cut it though. Yash Raj must have more influence than Bhandarkar i guess.




LOVE AAJ KAL

Saif's first home production and starring himself with Deepika Padukone. The USP of this movie is not the stars, its the director, Imtiaz Ali. This is his 3rd film after the beautiful (but overlooked) Socha Na Tha and the super-hit Jab We Met.
Definitely the pick of the lot.



KITES

The goody goody boy Hrithik allegedly has fallen hook, line and sinker for his Brazilian (or is it Mexican) leading lady of this film, Barbara Mori.
But knowing Bollywood its probably a well planned publicity stunt for the movie but both look great in the promos. And its not directed by papa Roshan so you can rule out the usual campy storyline. Thank God.
Its by the director of Gangster and Metro, the very talented Anurag Basu.




Happy Viewing.

IS HIS PENIS BLOCKING THE BLACKBOARD?

WEE-WEE and WAAH-WAAH and YUCK-YUCK

Dear All,

There is no way I can ever read something so bloody interesting and not share it with you guys.
Below is a report from the Times Of India about some guy entering an all girls school and stripping nude.

Now there are such freaks everywhere but what caught my eye was the alleged reaction of the girls. Some apparently fainted while others began to vomit. The brave ones among them were just somewhat 'dizzy'

If they had giggled, as girls are wont to do, I would have understood.

If they had gasped in shock, it would still have been plausible.

But Faint? In the year 2009, with easy access to internet and porn? With access to the Mallika Sherawats & Rakhi Sawants & Emraan Hashmis?

FAINT? Seriously?

The report, unfortunately, does not mention if the man’s ‘appendage’ was insanely large or horrifyingly little or even what the ‘indecent gestures’ were that caused such strong reactions, but to Faint? What were they studing to be? NUN's ?

Somehow I can understand the Vomiting part though.

Anyway I’ll let you enjoy the report for yourself.
Have a Nice Day
Ha ha

Love

Vish
Youth walks into school, strips before Class X girls
17 Jun 2009, 0340 hrs IST, TOINS
Times of India.

KOLKATA: A youngster walked into an all-girls school in central Kolkata unchallenged on Monday morning, stripped naked and made indecent gestures at students in a classroom, and escaped without any of the staff attempting to stop him.

Many girls fainted and others are still traumatized.

The authorities did not even bother to lodge a complaint with police. The incident has put the scanner on security in Kolkata’s schools. Sources said it was around noon, just when the class bell was supposed to go off that the youth entered the English-medium school near Hedua.

Security guards could not recall when he walked in or what excuse he gave for entering a girls’ school. He walked through the corridors unchallenged until he found his target — the Class X room on the second floor.

In front of the horrified teacher and students, he took off his clothes unhurriedly, stripped completely nude and made indecent gestures at the girls. Some girls apparently passed out while a few vomited.

Not many outside the classroom were even aware of the girls’ plight. Before anyone could raise an alarm, the youth grabbed his clothes, put on his trousers and ran. The girls returned home and complained to their parents.

Some are still complaining of dizziness.

A group of parents turned up at the school on Tuesday and demanded an explanation from principal Rita Chatterjee. An apologetic Chatterjee told them that she would tighten security. A security guard who was on duty on Monday maintained the youth had merely taken off his shirt.

“It is not possible to keep tabs on everybody entering the school. We weren’t even aware that something like this had happened till the girls started screaming. Not even teachers were aware of the incident.” While school authorities try to pass it off as the act of a deranged man, psychologists and social scientists believe it was an act of perversion by an exhibitionist.

Some believe that the man may have entered into a bet with his friends. “A mentally deranged person will not take off his clothes after entering a classroom. This is a clear case of exhibitionism by a pervert. Such people normally don’t have a partner. Such acts are outbursts of increasing frustration and stress,” said psychologist Paromita Mitra Bhowmick.

GUILT & PERFUMES

GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT

The Indian media, who have years before they can claim some semblance of restraint and objectivity, just love to sensationalize ‘news’ and pass it off as facts. They don't believe in Innocence Until Proven Guilty. Its always the other way around.

Truth, afterall, would make very boring copy.

Actor Shiney Ahuja was accused of rape yesterday by his maid and remanded to judicial custody. The media then made a circus of this and reported a number of ‘breaking news’ all of which have since been proved to be wrong.

a) He did not break down and confess.

b) He wasn’t given fresh juice and questioned in a AC room. (Even if he was what the hell’s the problem) (India TV)

c) He did NOT scream in anguish “My wife does not love me anymore that’s why…” to the police. (Zee News) and…

d) The song “Ya Ali” was not playing in his room while he raped the maid. (a breathless reporter on Zee News again)

He may possible have done it but that’s for the court to decide, not the media and certainly not with innuendo and lies.

“Rape is a deplorable act and must be condemned. I condemn it strongly”, said the quote-hanger Mahesh Bhatt as always , ever-ready to spout his opinion on every possible topic.

Thank God he chose to be a director not a Judge.

With regards to the Aussie Racism case the English media is slowly beginning to see reason.I have attached 2 articles below, 1 from Hindustan Times and 1 from CNN-IBN.

Very interesting and they reflect pretty much of what I had mentioned in my previous blog.

And after that you can check out the craziness that can now be sold across the world.

A new perfume and you will not believe which company is launching it (a hint: its not LÓreal) what the ‘flavour’ is (hint: not jasmine or rose).
Seriously!

'Oz more welcoming than Delhi'

Anamika Dutt and Madhulika Sonkar,
Hindustan Times

New Delhi, June 16, 2009

As you read this, a 39-year-old Manipuri from Meghalaya will be preparing to marry an Austr-alian and move to that country.The reports of 20 Indian students being attacked in that country in the last month do not bother Indira Singh.Her sister L Geeta (47) married an Australian and immigrated two years ago, and she’s never been happier.“I went from being a ‘Chinky’ in Delhi to being a first-class citizen of the world,” said Geeta, who is in town for her sister’s wedding on Tuesday. “Australia is being accused of racism in the Indian media, but I was never harassed in Australia like I was tormented here.”In Delhi, Geeta said, people would shout things at her as she walked down the street. No one would rent the sisters a flat.

“Landlords would tell us ‘We don’t allow tenants to have boys running around’. We’d swallow our pride and say that was not an issue,” Indira smiled. “We wouldn’t get the flat anyway.”
And then, of course, there was the incessant eve-teasing, groping and harassment.

“Just because we don’t look like other Indians, people in Delhi treat us as if we’re here just for ‘fun’, as if we don’t have families,” said Geeta, who was a teacher in New Delhi.

“We call ourselves a secular country, but this has not broadened our perspective,” she added.
Geeta now works with the health department in Melbourne. “In India, there were always question marks over my personal life rather than my professional skills. In Australia, I complained against a colleague over some minor differences and the matter was swiftly taken care of without hesitation.”

Handing out homemade coconut ladoos from a glass jar, Geeta shrugs that Indians don’t really see northeasterners as part of India.

“When you say you’re from Shillong,” she said, “the response is usually: Yeh kahaan hai? (Where’s that?) Sri Lanka?”

The attacks are a terrible occurrence, she said. “But Indian students work and travel at odd hours… youngsters and drug addicts indulge in these derogatory activities…and, sadly, Australia as a country is blamed.”

Oz 'racism' knows a class divide

Venkatesan Vembu

CNN-IBN Online News

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 3:14 IST

On the train from Melbourne to Sydney, the ticket examiner was in a chatty mood. "Vembu, Vembu," he enunciated, reading my surname from the chart. "So, where would you be from?" I told him I was Indian - and waited for his jaw to drop. It did, right on cue!

"You don't look Indian," he blurted out. And perhaps realising how politically (and chromatically) incorrect that might sound, he laughingly said, "I'm just teasin' you," and moved on.

That fleeting interaction reminded me of a similar experience I had had with an African-American man in a New York subway station some years ago. I'd helped him out with some directions, and he lingered to chat.

When I told him, in response to his query, that I was Indian, his eyes opened wide - and he did something entirely uncharacteristic. He reached out, pinched my ruddy forearm - I'd been out walking in the New York summer sun - and drawled with comical incredulousness, "You Indian? Getouttahere!"

The chromatic caricature of Indians as a dark-skinned people occurs fairly commonly around the world, although it's seldom explicitly mentioned in civil circles. (In any case, us Indians go to greater lengths than most others in our reverence of gori-ness!)

In the genteel and professional circles in which most Indian-Australians move and work, it's fair to say they experience no racism at all. They live in middle-class or upmarket neighbourhoods, speak with an Australian drawl, go drinking with their Aussie 'mates', and drive around in cars (and don't take the public transport); their cultural assimilation with "Australian Values" is complete.

That is why their first response, when the Indian students marched on the streets of Australian cities protesting the "racist" attacks, was to say that these were "opportunistic crimes", not manifestations of "racism".

Yet, the world in which the newly-arrived Indian 'students' (many of whom are, in fact, here not to get an education but to gain permanent residence by hook or by crook) live and work is very different from this.

Many of them come from small-town India, and have an inadequate appreciation of civilities to be observed in public spaces; in Australian cities, they live in low-income suburbia where racial bigotry runs deep; they work late nights to support themselves, and rely on the crime-infested public transport systems to get around. And in this world, they encounter fare more often the 'other half' of civil society - the drunken youth gangs, the drug addicts, the petty thieves who pilfer from the 7/11 stores manned by Indians clerks...

Even "opportunistic" mugging incidents - where Indian students are victims - often ends with a racist allusion to the colour of their skin. Which is why the 'students' feel they are victims of 'racism', whereas even Indian-Australians, who move in more refined circles, speak up in defence of the multicultural Australia they know better.

AN AD FOR A PERFUME BY BURGER KING (Seriously!)

Check out the UK's poster boy for Burger King's new meat-scented cologne, Britain's Got Talent and America's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan!

The cologne, named Flame, is a "body spray of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

Piers describes the new BK fragrance as having "a very manly smell… Flame has a hint of grilled beef but that has quite masculine connotations. It is almost like a pheromone."

The first question that came to my mind was "Why is Burger King making a fricking Perfume?"

Seriously would you buy this? Would you like to smell like a burger?

And i thought that the chocolate Axe deo was too much....

Little did i know.....

Till next time..

Love

Vish

PASTA LA VISTA BABY.

I am guessing some of you liked the chicken recipe and on demand from my friend Seema from Aussie land (who incidentally has faced NO racism there and probably because she doesnt wade in the Aussie waters wearing a chaubandi-cholo) here’s another recipe for a simple pasta dish.

I wanted to include one for a lovely fish dish too but since Seema has just gotten 2 pet fish I thought it wouldn’t be in good taste (pun intended).

So here is a simple recipe for a Pasta dish with 2 great sauces for variation.

Spaghetti with Shredded Chicken

My Special Tomato Paste.

A Great White Sauce. (I will avoid calling it "My Special White Sauce" to avoid the obvious puns and innuendos)

Spaghetti with Shredded Chicken
Boil spaghetti till well done (al dente will not work here) in lots of salted water and keep aside.

In a pan (as usual) heat some olive oil and then add some finely chopped garlic and some equally finely chopped bell peppers (red or yellow capsicum will also do but make sure they are de-seeded).
To this mix add some boiled and finely shredded chicken (pork also works very well here as will any other meat)
Add the cooked pasta and salt to taste & toss till finely mixed.
After about a minute add some finely chopped parsley and serve immediately.

Note: Parsley cannot be substituted with Dhaniya (Cilantro) even though they may look the same. It is too strong for the pasta dish.

I know it sounds pathetically bland (I thought so too the first time) but trust me it tastes divine….. Simple food is actually very good.

If you like, you can add some sliced mushrooms (if you are a veggie) instead of the meat too.

My Special Tomato Paste.
If you like your pasta a little more tarty, try adding the boiled pasta to this simple sauce.

In a baking tray (sorry microwave will not work here unless yours has a grill combination) arrange 2 tomatoes, each sliced into 8 triangular wedges (again just a detail but squares or circles will not work :-) To this add about 10 cloves of garlic (10 individual pieces not whole garlic please) and bake for about 15-20 min at 250 degrees.

It should be slightly browned and beginning to wilt.

Take this out and add to a pan with some olive oil and salt. Stir and mash slowly till it breaks down and becomes a thick (slightly lumpy) paste. Add some fresh basil leaves (dried will also do if you dont have fresh)

Add pasta and about ½ a cup of the water in which the pasta was boiled (the starch from that will give your pasta a great consistency).
Sprinkle with some grated cheese and serve.

Note: All cheese are not the same and for any continental dish the best is usually Parmesan (or Parmesano Regiano as the Italians love to drawl and call it).

Cheddar does not work well.

Till I was in class 8/9 the only cheese I knew was either Amul or that wonderful hard round milky thing that was sold in Keventers.

A Great White Sauce.

Since this can usually go lumpy i've added a pictoral guide.

In a pan heat some butter.

When hot reduce the flame to low and add about 1-2 tbsp of white flour (maida not atta) and stir like crazy.

Add a little milk and stir.

Add more milk and mix till you have a thick consistency. Add salt & pepper to taste.. Top with some cream if you like it more creamy.

Add the boiled pasta to this. If the sauce is too thick (the pasta will soak a lot of it) add some of that starchy water the pasta was boiled in.

Sprinkle with grated parmesan and serve hot.

Note: Fish & Seafood go brilliantly with this white sauce.

I hope you all enjoy which ever version you may decide to make.

Once again... Bon Appetit

Love

Vish

LAZY FRIDAY MEALS WITH FRIENDS

I am quite a foodie but a different kind of a foodie.

I think that as a lover of food it is not only enough that you enjoy a fine meal but more importantly, that it should be shared.

I am a lazy cook but a fairly good cook, which ofcourse is just my way of saying that I don’t cook that often.

This past weekend I did venture into the kitchen and made a simple dish which I thought I’d share with you as many of my unmarried friends keep asking for simple dishes to make. And the ‘simple’ request usually means that most Indian dishes are ruled out.

Anyway this was the menu for the Friday lunch

Studded & Braised Chicken Thigh
on a bed of Mashed Potatoes
with a side of Caramelised Onions
and Sautéed Spinach

All washed down with a nice Chilean Merlot

Recipe:
Take a chicken thigh (not drumsticks) and score it with a sharp knife all over. Into each insertion add a sliver of garlic. (Once cooked this garlic will make each bite a warm and soft explosion of flavour) Mix a teaspoon each of red chilly flakes, dried oregano, fresh black pepper, salt (to taste) and extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) and massage the mixture into the chicken. Rub it in well and leave to marinate overnight.

Put into an oven at 200 degrees for 1 hour or till it turns slightly brown. If you dont have an oven you can also microwave it on High for about 20-30 min. Microwave's vary according to their brand and power options etc so keep checking the chicken consantly and dont blame me later if it turns into a black lump

Note1: White pepper powder will not work. It must be freshly ground black pepper and the olive oil must be extra virgin or the smell will be slightly ‘raw-plant’ like.

Note2: Drumsticks also don’t work because, as much as the middle class love to order drumsticks at every restaurants and feel ‘stylish’, it is not exactly the best cut of meat for anything that does not involve masking all flavours with deep-frying.

Mash Potatoes, I presume, you know how to make but I’ve found that it almost always turns out better if you add some cream (fresh is always better but even tinned ones will do) and some butter (salted ofcourse).

For Caramelised Onions slice the onions into slightly thick rings. In a pan (what else) heat some butter and when it is very hot (it will begin to foam) add some EVOO. Immediately add ½ a tea spoon of sugar (this is what helps to caramelise and colour the onions and NO, Honey will not do). To this, add the onions and sauté till translucent and slightly brown. Add salt to taste.

Note: If you add the EVOO along with the butter, it will begin to smoke and lose all flavour.

Sautéed Spinach: Wash and roughly tear the spinach leaves (tearing as opposed to chopping, makes the final dish look more homemade and adds a touch of individuality) Heat some butter (no EVOO this time) and when it starts to foam, add lots of chopped garlic and before they can brown add the spinach. Lower the flame and salt it now as the salt will help to extract the water from the spinach.

At this stage it will look bad. Green leaves in a watery sauce. Don’t panic and whatever you do don’t turn the heat up. If you do, the iron in the spinach tends to react somehow and thats when you end up getting the slightly tannic after taste.

Most people I know hate the slightly strong taste of spinach compared to other greens and I’ve found that if you add half a cube of chicken stock (when it is looking watery and bad) it becomes very palatable indeed. There I’ve given you one of my secrets now.

Chicken is considered white meat but with this particular combination a good red wine, I find works best.

A Shiraz a little too fruity and a Cabernet Sauvignon (even though it sounds sufficiently french and high-brow) is too full bodied and will overpower the chicken. A good Pinot Noir would be best if you have one but last Friday we made do with the next best option.

A warm Merlot.

Which incidentally is also the best wine to introduce new drinkers to wines, especially most of us who grew up thinking all wines were meant to be sticky and sweet and usually made in Goa.

Ours was a Chilean Merlot and being the first wine I’ve ever tasted from Chile it was surprisingly decent.

I hope you too have a nice meal and if you have some favourite recipes to share do write in.

P.S: With all the garlic in this recipe, this is probably NOT the best meal for a date, esp if you have some tonsil hockey planned for later. Just thought i'd mention that.

Ciao & Bon Appétit.

Love
Vish

EURO TRIP PART 2

PARIS

1st day was gloomy and the Eiffel was tall but just a mass of steel. Maybe my mood wasn’t very good. Came back at night and all lit up, it looked like what it had in my imagination. Ethereal.

The climb up the tower however wasn’t. Huffed and Puffed and dragged myself up what seemed like millions of steps but the view of Paris by night was worth the effort. Took the bateaux ride down the Seine. Probably the best was to see the city in a hurry.

Notre Dame. Gothic and wicked looking. In a good way ofcourse. The park behind it has great free amateur musical performances every day.

Pont D’Alma. The tunnel where Princess Diana died. Still has many people leaving flowers and cards. Cant believe it been almost 12 years. People rush noisily to the spot and then hush when they reach there.

It was

strangely odd standing and lookingin the tunnel where she crashed even as cars whizzed in and out of it. Maybe her spirit is still around. Always was a romantic. Both Diana and myself that is.

Arc De Triomphe & Champs Elysee. Grand Arc with the worst traffic roundabout surrounding it. Indian traffic seems like heaven compared to the way Parisians drive. No wonder poor Diana was killed. The Champs Elysee is great at sunset though.

The Louvre. The global recession can end if you just sell 1/10th of the masterpieces from in here. If you ever go there leave aside a whole day for it. There is no way you can possibly complete the whole place in less than a day. The Monalisa was more beautiful than I had expected but also much much smaller. Its about 2.5 x 1.7 feet. And yes, its eyes does follow you around the room.

Sacre Coeur: Visited many churches and cathedrals during the euro trip but this was one of the most serene and spiritual places.

The steps outside has amateurs performing every evening and a huge crowd is always there. A great way to spend the evening is to take a sandwich, some bottles of wine (note: its ‘a’ sandwich and ‘some’ bottles) and sit on the steps watching the performances.

As you sit there on the steps, all around you, the lights of Paris come on one by one. Very Romantic.

This was also the area where Amelie was shot (as in movie not as in killed).

Pigalle. Just down the hillock of Sacre Coeur is the Pigalle area which is the red light area of Paris and has every conceivable sex shop/show.

The Moulin Rouge is disappointingly small.

RHEIMS (Champagne)

The capital of Champagne and very quaint but where the railway station looked very impressive. Almost like a museum.

Visited one of the champage cellars and saw literally, millions of bottles of champagne. Great place to lift the recession spirits.

The Rheims cathedral is exactly like the Notre Dame and was the place where more than 16 French kings were crowned till, ofcourse, one of the wives suggested that the people eat some cake.

BRUSSELS.

Capital of the EU but also one of the worst cities in Europe. You have to be awake 24x7 or you will be looted. Crime is sky high and the only place where I saw public property (including a statue of Elisabeth) vandalized in Europe. Shame.

The statue of Mannekin Pis is a tribute to the little boy who was taking a leak when he saw a breach in the levees and put a finger in the hole and warned the whole town. The statue is again very small.

Brussels makes great chocolate though and also has more than 250 varieties of beer.

Wait a min, this place wasn’t that bad after all.

AMSTERDAM.

Ahhh Amsterdam. Which other airport's mascot is a giant Heineken Can? And its probably the only city in the world where the city guide book has a collection of useful Dutch phrases that a tourist may need.

I know other city guides also have useful phrases but where, apart from the usual Please, Where is.., Thank You, can you find translations for such utterly useful phrases like “How much for group sex?” or “ Will it be extra if I tie you up?” or simply “Can I cum in your mouth?”. Told you so. Only in Amsterdam!

In between the obvious delights we also managed to visit 2 museums.

The Van Gogh (stunning and very well laid out) and the Anne Frank House.

With the Vatican, the Louvre, the Van Gogh etc behind us I have no doubt that the most moving experience was at the Anne Frank House. The irony is that it is empty. Just as it was the day after the Nazis took everything away. Yet you can feel everything as you walk through the small rooms.

When Shelly Winters was cast to act in the apaptation of the Diary, she promised she would donate any award she got to the museum and the Oscar she won for the movie is still there.

GENEVA

Clean, Clinical and Bloody Expensive.

The airport is one of the worst in Europe.

3 weeks, 8 countries, 15 cities and 2374 hotos later I land back at Abu Dhabi airport and there is a huge skeleton of a dinosaur on display. Apparently it is real and was bought by the AD tourism board for some millions of dollars.

Too bad culture cant be bought.

Till next time. Ciao