ENGLISH DOWN THE DRAIN.

WHO'S ENGLISH IS IT ANYWAY?

Inspite of English being the lingua franca of the world and all that*, I really wonder if what is being used is still the English that we actually knew of. Or has it changed so much that it is a different language completely.

I am not talking about words juke Bungalow, Juggernaut, Cliché, etc which have been adopted from different languages and are now an integral part of English.

And I am not even going to dig into the whole text-ing syndrome where gibberish like ‘gr8’ & ‘brb’ & ‘lol’ have full fledged meanings.

By the way, there is now even a sub culture of that gibberish with words like ‘twitterahea’ which apparently (quite obviously, duh!) means a case of someone over using Twitter.
Or for that matter do you know what Social Notworking is?
(Spending too much time on Facebook and not working enough).
Or Brickberry?
(An old obsolete mobile)

or the best of them all..... Gr7.
(It is something that is pretty good but not gr8).

Anyway what I am talking about is the way so many people (and companies) seem to twist English to suit their own needs.

I was driving back home last night after catching a screening of a movie and at one of the traffic signals I saw a huge billboard for a middle eastern electronic company called Geepas. Their tag line read: Focusing the Future. And all I could think of was how in the process of all that focusing they had completely forgotten to focus on the Article.

And right next to it was another one for a brand of ice creams called JOY whose own tagline was: Oh what a way to Joy.

Frankly, I know your brand of ice creams (and those who have tasted it will know its more ice-less cream) is called Joy but would your message have been lost if you had used the word Enjoy in that sentence? Seriously???

Maybe apart from the wars in Iraq & Afghanistan, 8 years of president Bush has also contributed to the desecration of Grammar. Maybe it wasn’t just the Iraqis & Afghans who got massacred.

Afterall wasn’t it Bush who famously pondered on the education system and said (very seriously indeed) "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” and thats
not surprising because Bush was also the one to say "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

Now I am not some fuddy-duddy English high-priest obsessed with grammar etc but frankly can we do away with prepositions and articles just like that? In colloquial speak, a few digressions can be excused but when it comes to branding and corporate speak, are they really OK? Is that the message we really want to give out?

Will we grow up in a world where our children will lol when we use proper grammer?

*By the way, isn’t it pretty sweet irony that while it is accepted that English is the lingua franca of the world, it needs a Latin phrase to actually say as much.

I leave you with 13 of the best of Bush-ism’s.

brb till next time….. ….

Luv

Vish


1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

3. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

4. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''

5. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."— on meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno.

6. "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."

7. "And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."

8. "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."

9. "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."

10. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

11. "There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.' "

12. "They misunderestimated me."

And the best (and probably the most accurate) of all…

13. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."—Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

Hi Folks,

Sorry but we are in the middle of office renovations and thus my blogging is a little late.

This week i am posting two articles which were sent to me.

The first one was sent by Bryan Sharma from Delhi who, bless him, is a regular reader of the blog and who i have no idea about. Thank you Bryan anyway.

The second is from from my dear friend Jashoda (Sikkim) who has previously managed to get some of my posts published in the Sikkim Express newspaper. So double thanks to you.

Enjoy

Vish

By the way this first poem is also one way of actually finding out whether you really know how to speak English or only to read and write it. Read this poem slowly and carefully because otherwise you’re bound to trip up. And mind your tongue!

Do you know the Queen's English?

I take it you already know

Of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble but not you,

On hiccough, through, lough and though.

Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,

To learn of less familiar traps.
Beware of heard, a dreadful word

That looks like beard and sounds like bird,

And dead — it’s said like bed, not bead.

For goodness’s sake, don’t call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat:

They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not a moth in mother,

Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,

Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,

And then there’s dose and rose and lose

Just look them up — and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward,

And font and front and word and sword,

And do and go and thwart and cart.

Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start.
A dreadful language? Man alive,

I’d mastered it when I was five.

Bong in Jongole

I hate to generalise/ typecast any group, nationality or people but this was too good to pass.

No offence meant dear bongs. Enjoy!

Through the jongole I am went

On shooting Tiger I am bent

Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife

No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life

Too much quiet, snakes and leeches

But I not fear these sons of beeches

Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start

But noise is coming from damn fool's heart

Taking care not to be fright

I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight

Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down

Then like hero return to native town

Then through trees I am espying one cave

I am telling self - "Bannerjee be brave"

I am now proceeding with too much care

From far I smell this Tiger's lair

My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start to pray

I think I will shoot Tiger some other day

Turning round I am going to flee

But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting this Bengalee

He bounding from cave like football player Pele

I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele"

Through the jongole I am running

With Tiger on my tail closer looming

I am a telling that never in life

I will risk again for my damn fool wife!!!!