Movie Review: London Dreams

LONDON DREAMS

*ing Salman Khan, Ajay Devgn, Asin.

Music: Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Lyrics: Prasoon Joshi

Director: Vipul A Shah

London Dreams is from the new genre of movies I like to call WTFWTT or

“What The Fcuk Were They Thinking?”

Seriously… there is so much in this movie (if you can call it a movie) that doesn’t work and all I can do is list them for you.

a) Ajay Devgn. He started out as an action star and then did some pretty good work as a dramatic actor (Company, Zakhm), some good romantic films (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam) and even did some comedy which may not have been his forte but which did make money (Golmaal, All The Best). And he is a pretty decent actor too. But there is one thing that he is NOT, and that is a Rock Star. The poor guy is hopelessly miscast as an international rock star.

Mr. Devgn does not look like one and certainly doesn’t move like one. And it’s nothing to do with his age. After all Bon Jovi is around 40, Bono around 50, Paul McCartney is about 6o and Keith Richards’ age is probably about all the 3 put together. So no it’s not that.

Ajay is just not built to be a rockstar. NO. Not even with his name now spelt as Devgn.

b) Salman Khan whose buffoonery was what propelled Wanted into the super hit status can’t expect to do the same in serious movies. Till the time that he’s playing the village idiot he’s ok but the moment he’s expected to perform during dramatic scenes he continues to act like a buffoon and that is certainly a problem. And he seems to have shot for this movie either during or just before his hair transplant and he looks bad. He may have been the ‘Handsomest Man In The World’ and all that jazz, but at 45+ he is beginning to look haggard.

c) The Setting. Why London? Why couldn’t it have been Bombay? Why Wembley when Brabourne stadium would have been just fine. Or better. That way the songs would have worked. The audience rocking to the songs would have been plausible. The whole damn movie would have been more believable. There was absolutely no reason to set it in London and the movie suffers for it. Globalization maybe the catchphrase nowadays but there is no way I am going to believe young London girls rocking, raving and going crazy about an ageing Indian band. Who by the way, sing in Hindi. And whose songs are sometimes Raga based. No fcuking way. Then they go on to rock Paris & Rome too. Seriously???

How do u say “What The Fcuk?” in Italian?

d) Asin. I was one of the few who did not like her in Ghajini. However compared to this movie, Ghajini is like a bloody masterpiece. To be fair you can’t blame her. It’s her character which has been written so badly. She is a bharatnatyam dancer from a conservative British-Tamilian family who secretly wants to dance like a ‘pop star’. After much fake tension with the father who subsequently gets a dramatic lecture from Ajay Devgn about following dreams and all that jazz, what does she do??? She becomes a glorified background dancer in the band.

The only person who benefited from such a career is Britney’s former background dancer and husband, Kevin Federline. Maybe that’s who her character was modeled on.

e) Music. On its own the music by S-E-L is great. But in the movie it doesn’t gel. Not a single song stays with you after the movie.

f) Credibility. Bhatinda may be a small town in rural Punjab but does it mean it is cut off from reality. The ‘biggest Indian band in the world’ self destructs spectacularly while on stage in Wembley and yet the idiots in Bhatinda are so busy dancing at weddings and running around fields that they don’t have a clue. And those losers are their own ‘puttars’ I may add.

g) Logic: Why can’t you love and concentrate on your career at the same time. Does passion and dedication have to be enemies? Mr. Devgn falls in love with Asin but the crazy man that he is, he begins to whip himself with his belt. Maybe he should have just pleasured himself and saved us all the fake heartbreak. Apna Haath Jaggannath anyone?

h) The Climax. Ok ok... i know its not right to speak about climax just after the previous sentence but dont worry, in this movie it is actually an anti climax. The showdown, the repentance, the penance, the forgiveness..... nothing works.... nothing.

And as you all know, with out a good climax, an orgasm if you may, the whole act is useless.

But what do you do when the whole act is a dissapointment and the climax too is a downer.

I could go on but I am exhausted.

And trust me, you will be too once you watch this mockery of a movie.

See you soon.

Luv

Vish