British Airways has airbrushed Richard Branson out of their in-flight showings of the James Bond movie Casino Royale because he owns the competing Virgin Atlantic airline. Wow, talk about being petty and giving reams and reams of unintentional free publicity. BA must be squirming in their pants right now.
Knut the Polar Bear, has received a death threat! In case you are wondering Knut Who?? Well he is a polar bear cub who was rejected by his mother and is so irresistibly cute that he has become the main attraction in the Berlin Zoo. He has T-Shirts, Mugs etc with his image and he even shared the cover with (and some say overshadowed) Leo DiCaprio on the recent issue of People magazine. Now get this: Officials at the Berlin Zoo have had to beef up security. So not only does the lil’ guy have a fever, but some maniac wants to make a miniature polar bear fleece jackie out of him. I'm wondering Who? Al Qaeda?
You must have also heard reports about Keith Richards (Rolling Stones) claiming that he once mixed his father’s ashes with Coke(the sniffing kind not the sipping one) and snorted it. And at this point, it doesn’t really matter if he actually snorted his father’s ashes or if it was all a big joke– the damage has been done. It took longer than it should have, but by declaring that he attempted to get high off his dead father, the ancient rock n’ roller-slash-druggie has finally cemented his place in the Crazy Celebrity Hall of Fame alongside people like Ozzy Osbourne and Iggy Pop. He’s finally entered that elite class where we, as a society kind of have to believe that any story written about Keith– no matter how crazy it sounds– might actually be true. Like, for example, this story about the time when Keith picked up the canary, which belonged to bandmate Ron Wood’s then five-year-old son Jamie, and threw it out of the window believing it was an alarm clock.
In a desperate attempt to win back viewers to his fledgling season of The Apprentice, Donald Trump has finally done the unthinkable: Handled Rosie O’Donnell’s undergarments. The NY Post reports that Trump sent Rosie’s black leather corset and “giant underpants” from the movie Exit to Eden to the offices of The View, specifically to the office of Barbara Walters (Happy 80th Nightmare, Barbara) For those of you that don’t remember Exit to Eden (bless you), it was an “S&M comedy” (if there is such a thing as S&M comedy) starring Rosie in a leather get-up that flopped at the box office Says Trump: “I sent it to Barbara to hang in her office because I didn’t want it in mine."
WHAT I'm wondering about is why in hell did Donald have Rosie's underpants with him all these years.
Lindsay Lohan thinks it is weird she went to rehab because as she says herself, she’s “not an addict”. I guess she skipped right over that “admit you have a problem” step.
Larry Birkhead (of Anna Nicole Smith infamy) was confirmed as the biological father of baby Dannielynn. And what does the dear affectionate daddy do as soon as he gets custody? Well he gets baby to pose for photos for different magazines for a hellava lot of cash. In fact he is now going to change her name from Dannilynn.
She’ll now simply be called “Cha-Ching!”
EXPERIMENT: What happens when world class virtuoso Joshua Bell regales a Washington D.C. subway station with heavenly notes played on his million-dollar violin? People do not give a shit. Not one of them recognized him or the world class music coming out of his violin. This only reinforces what I have always suspected. Packaging is more important that Content. The same man if he plays at Carnegie Hall charges hundreds of dollars and yet in a subway people don’t even give a damn. Scary thought.
There are reports that the lead singer of Right Said Fred (the one hit wonder) plans on running for Mayor of London.
His “I’m Too Sexy For My Parking Charges” campaign is expected to be a huge hit.
QUOTE: John Travolta recently compared himself to Marilyn Monroe… just please, don’t stand over the grate, John
Sanjaya has exceeded our wildest expectations. Not only is the subpar singer still making high profile public appearances but he stayed on in American Idol for what seemed like ages and ages and almost won the crown despite… well, despite everything… but now, somehow, he’s apparently considered a sex symbol. By dudes! Why else would Maxim name him their Girl of the Day? Check out new issue.
And when asked what she would do about Sanjaya, Hilary Clinton said it was the “best question” she’s been asked in a long time. Until the reporter added “…would you send him to Iraq or not?”
If there’s one toy that America’s kids are going to be clamoring for come Christmas-time this year, it’s undoubtedly going to be Rapist Number One. It is a new doll being marketed based on the zombie sexual predator portrayed by Quentin Tarantino in the recent movie Planet Terror, (Robert Rodriguez’s portion of the twin movie package, Grindhouse). And luckily for parents, they will have to look no further than their local toy store to enrich their family’s toy collection with the addition of a gun-toting rapist GI Joe. Those boring old Barbie & Ken Doll play scenarios will be so much more exciting when your children can introduce the horrors of flesh-eating zombie rape into their otherwise happy home!
God Bless America Indeed?
Angelina Jolie refuses to hold baby Shiloh when she cries, because she says she feels more affection for her less privileged adopted children. She is going to be one seriously f**ked up messiah one day. She and Brad meanwhile are also buying a $270 million yacht.
And then, once they finish adopting two babies from every country in the world, they’ll be ready for the flood.
A female astronaut (Sunita Williams) completed the first ever marathon in space. I am not sure why this was necessary but it was apparently quite impressive. However the American media (who usually lap up this kind of stuff) did not feature it at all except for a brief mention. I guess she would have done so much better in the media if only she’d been wearing diapers and on her way to kill someone like the other famous astronaut recently.
And bookmakers are now offering 20-1 odds that Britney Spears hooks up with newly-single Prince William and becomes the next Queen of England. If it pans out, the phrase “God Save the Queen” will never be more relevant.
Oh, and for the record? Sheryl Crow (the singer incase you did not know)says that she is such a staunch environmentalist that she refuses to waste any paper at all. Even toilet paper! Pray you’re never stuck in a paperless bathroom stall next to Sheryl Crow… because that b*tch will not spare a square.
Sen. John McCain managed to turn a peppy Beach Boys song into a frightening call to arms suggesting we should escalate violence in the Middle East. “You know that good ol’ Beach Boys song,” he fondly recollected, helpfully adding, “the one which goes Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran”. Thank God his chances of wining the presidential race are looking increasingly remote.
“And when I come out there next week, I’m gonna fly out there for the day… just to straighten you out on this issue. I’m gonna let you know just how disappointed in you I am, and how ANGRY at you I am that you’ve done this to me again. You’ve made me feel like SH*T and you’ve made me feel LIKE A FOOL… OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And this crap you pull on me with this goddamned phone situation, that you would never DREAM of doing to your mother and you do it to me CONSTANTLY! And over and over again! I am gonna get on a plane, and I am going to come out there for the day, and I am gonna STRAIGHTEN YOUR ASS OUT when I see you! Do you understand me? So you better be ready FRIDAY the 20th to meet with me! Cause I’m gonna let you know just how I feel about what a RUDE LITTLE PIG you really are. You are a RUDE, THOUGHTLESS little pig.”
No No its not an excerpt from the video diaries of Seung-Hui Cho. Its Alec Baldwin leaving a voice message for his 11 year old daughter. And by the way he is currently facing a custody battle over the little girl with his ex-wife Kim Basinger. Forget a child, he should not be left alone with a pet.
Horror of Horrors. VOGUE Europe says that now apparently Africa has become a place to look for skinny models. Witness the silver lining of poverty and mass famines.
According to Yahoo News, a transgender student in a city called Fresno (in USA where else?) is running for Prom King, but if s/he wins, wouldn’t s/he actually be Prom King AND Queen.
The recent Virginia Tech Memorial service was very moving and it was touching to see the students all brave and trying to get on with their lives in the glare of media spotlight. The students has a beautiful commemoration ceremony but as much as I feel for them, I feel they made one mistake.
Look at the picture. At moments like these you might want to leave out the Mascot. 
Have nice week ahead
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