Examples of WIT

FEELING SMART HUH?


POINTED REPLIES WHEN YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP.
Note: This post is courtesy my friend Dominic (formerly of B'lore but now nesting in Bombay {Take that you Thackreys})

Field Marshal Sam Bahadur Maneckshaw once started addressing a public meeting in English at Ahmedabad .
The crowd started heckling him,"Speak in Gujarati. We will hear only in Gujarati."

Field Marshal Maneckshaw replied,

"Friends, I have fought many a battle in my long career . I have learned Punjabi from officers of the Sikh Regiment; Marathi from the officers of the Maratha Regiment; Tamil from the officers of the Madras Sappers; Bengali from the officers of the Bengal Sappers , Hindi from the officers of the Bihar Regiment; and even Nepali from the very brave officers of the Gurkha Regiment. Unfortunately there was no Army officer from Guajart from whom I could have learned Gujarati."

...and there was pin drop silence.

Today at a time when the US President and other US politicians tend to apologize for their country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some former US personnel handled negative comments about the United States.

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when Charles DeGaule, the French President, decided to pull out of NATO.

DeGaule said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded "does that include those who are buried here?"

DeGaule did not respond.

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked quite pointedly by the Archbishop of Canterbury if US plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.

He answered by saying;

'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'

And i bet you could have heard a pin drop. Archbishops should stick to theology.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.

During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying

'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done?He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"

Once again you could have possibly heard a pin drop but then with the French its not difficult to shut them up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks when a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.

He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

Anyone drop a Pin ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THE FOLLOWING STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE

Robert Whiting, an elderly US gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready," the official snapped.

The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look and then he quietly explained,

''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country,
I couldn't find a single Frenchman to show a passport to."

--------------------------------

Have a nice weekend.

Luv as Usual

Vish