The Sania-Shoaib Love Farce

WISE MEN SAY.. ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN...

In the movie The Queen, at one stage a frustrated Tony Blair says of Her Majesty and The Royal Family:

“Somebody save these people from themselves”

Today I feel a similar sentiment towards the Indian Muslims.

Now let me make it clear at the beginning itself that I am not some Hindu fanatic nor that this post is anything remotely close to that.

I think that Muslims in general aren’t bad but that a few crazy lunatics hijack the whole faith and subsequently the whole debate about tolerance etc.

They have literally been giving fodder to the right-wing Hindu nutcases to label them as a bunch of 3rd century lunatics.

And all this over just 1 wedding. Sania & Shoaib’s.

I have been watching the whole Shonia (as its now being called) drama with an increasing sense of shock and amazement.

Look at the facts:

Sania met and fell in love with Shoaib. Frankly what she saw in that bumbling fool (watch his press conference) is besides me but that’s her choice.

Suddenly someone named Ayesha Siddiqui came out of the woodwork to claim she was already married to him a few years back.

The ‘nikaah’ allegedly happened over the phone after exchanging photos.

Shoaib on his part began to spin more stories than a spider on Viagra.

First he claimed he did not know of any Ayesha. Then he claimed that she tricked him by showing a picture of a slim beautiful girl. (Instead of the obviously obese and ugly Ayesha was the part left unsaid)

When he found out about this he did not go ahead with the wedding.

His sleazy brother in law, Imran, then came on Pakistan TV to explain to a disbelieving public about how a Pakistani captain could be fooled by such trickery. Imran told viewers that the girl who enticed Shoaib over the phone, was in fact her clever friend. He also told us how when Shoaib went to Hyderabad to meet his bride-to-be many times, she was never there.

The family, I believe, came up with some excuse nor the other; she wasn’t in town, she was unwell and in hospital, she was in another city where she was trying to convince Yuvraj Singh to marry her. (Ok Ok I made the last one up but frankly the story is so crazy it could probably be true).

I don’t know about the veracity of the wedding but the interview made 1 point very clear.

If not a liar, Shoaib was certainly a stupid, stupid guy.

Ayesha’s mother, not to be left out, came on Times Now to give her side of the story but in place of facts she just shed some serious tears. “I-am-crying-so-I-must-be-telling-the-truth” seemed her only defence.

Ayesha meanwhile came on a private Pakistani TV channel (phoned in actually) to claim that she not only married Shoaib but that she even had a miscarriage.

Then as if to prove her mental sanity (or lack thereof) she claimed that she still has the blood stained clothes from her miscarriage. (Who else but a lunatic keeps such mementos?)

This girl was clearly crazy but my question is; What was her family doing? Why were they not putting an end to this nonsense?

Shoaib meanwhile went from bad to worse.

Even as Indian TV channels were gleefully broadcasting clips of him practicing his dance steps in Sania’s house, another TV channel dug out an old clip of him admitting to being married to a “Hyderabadi girl”.

The very next day he was in front of Sania’s house facing the media and lying through his teeth and claiming that he has never been married.

But as a certain Mr. Bond once taught us, Never Say Never.

The next day we were informed that religious leaders (who and why?) had gotten involved and a compromise was being hammered out.

Shoaib would divorce Ayesha (who he claimed he hadn't married) and pay her off (an allegedly 15 crores) leaving him free to marry Sania.

Phew. Finally over. But wait a minute.

As another old axiom goes: It Aint Over Till The Fat Lady Sings.

Or in this case a fat Imam who issued a fatwa condemning Shonia.

They were allegedly living together in Sania's house before getting married and the Imam apparently got his knickers in a twist over Sania’s lack of the same. Or so he imagined in that fertile sex-obsessed mind of his.

The wedding scheduled for the 15th got hastily advanced and the 2 finally got married to (hopefully) live happily ever after.

Apart from the sleaze, there is a hundred things wrong about this story.

Just look at how it makes the Muslims look.

Marriages happening over telephones? (ha ha and not even over a webcam???).

Imam’s more worried about some engaged couple’s sleeping habits rather than more important things.
Religious leaders facilitating massive pay-offs.

What The Fcuk! Seriously???

The VHP-RSS-Shiv Sena etc must be delirious with joy. This is exactly what they have being trying to taint the Muslims as and here we are. Such lunacy.

And not a single sensible Muslim came forward to denounce this farce.

And that is the difference.
The silent majority.

Its not that the Hindus or Buddhists or Sikhs etc don’t have lunatics among them. The difference is that people from the same community immediately slams such nonsense. When the Shiv Sena went after SRK there was an immediate chorus of condemnation.

And yet as this Shonia farce played out, not a single prominent muslim came forward to call out this nonsense.

So can you help but say…..

Someone save these people from themselves.

Till next time and more blogs.

Vish

P.S. If I am not mistaken, a Muslim guy can legally keep 4 wives at a time, so what was all the insistence on divorce all about?