I, Me & Myself

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Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
If you know me, you know about me and if you don't... well then read my blogs and you will find out

Sunday, January 31, 2010

MONA VINCI SMILE


THE REAL DA VINCI CODE


A group of Italian scientists and art historians are appealing to the French government to exhume the skull of the great Leonardo Da Vinci to prove a theory about his greatest work, The Mona Lisa.



The team believes that the painting may actually be a self-portrait of the artist in disguise, based on its similarities to a 1515 self-portraits, da Vinci's homosexuality and fascination with riddles.


By examining the artist's skull, the scientists and historians look to "rebuild Leonardo's face and compare it with the Mona Lisa" and prove that the famed portrait is in fact of da Vinci himself.

Who would have thought?!
And your thoughts???
As always bringing you the strangest news.
Luv
Vish
TOO MANY SURS SPOIL THE GAANA


THE NEW VERSION PART 1




THE NEW VERSION PART 2



Most of us of a certain vintage will be aware of the old song on national integration; Mile Sur Mera Tumhara. Created in 1988 it was first aired on the Indian Independence Day, 15th August. Since then it has gone on to become an iconic song that serves as an instant recall to simpler times of Doordarshan, Chitrahaar and Krishi Darshan.

Last week the new version of the song was aired and here’s a few things that came to mind.
At almost 17 minutes compared to the original 6 this is a lumbering remix that does no justice to the original.

It starts with A R Rahman playing a strange instrument called the “fingerboard” which looks like he is almost creating music out of scratch. Very apt actually, but strangely he is filmed standing on a terrace surrounded by solar water heaters. Didn’t quite get the significance of that one.

Next comes Amitabh Bachchan in front of the Taj, but unlike the original which had the Taj Mahal this Taj is the Taj Mahal Hotel which bore the brunt of the terror attack last year. Again very apt but then Big B decides to upstage the Taj and begins to ‘read’ the lyrics. AB is a good actor when he wants to be but there is no Sur is this one. Bad idea. Bad bad idea.

Then it moves to the trio of Shanker Ehsaan Loy in the desert playing a remixed version of the song and as much as I like SEL as music directors and as much in vogue as remixes are, at this stage you begin to miss the stalwarts of the original.

Then its Anoushka Shanker, daughter of Pandit Ravi Shankar plays an instrumental version of the song on the sitar and does so admirably and very very restrained too. Maybe there is hope in this afterall.

Then there is a quick montage of some South Indian actors who I didn’t recognize but as they are wont to usually be, they are all mustachioed, swarthy and look very well fed. (I seriously didn’t mean that to sound racist. Just making an observation. That all.)

Shreya Ghosal on a open decked bus singing followed by Ash and Abhishek. Smartly the editors have followed the 80-20 principle and given Ash more screen time than Abhi. But Ash is over acting hopelessly and I silently wonder ‘Will Jaya Bachchan be next?

But instead its a shot of an old age home with another actor from the south. Don’t get the lyrics or the significance in that one. The actor seems strangely smug.

Shot of the Dal Lake in Kashmir with the Kashmiri father-son duo of Pandit Shiv Prasad and Rahul Sharma on the santoor playing in front of the Qutb Minar with a quick glimpse of (Kashmiri) designer Rohit Bal in a shikara. Again the instrumental version on the santoor is quite well done.

Moving on to the obligatory Golden Temple and an unusually sober Gurdas Maan who is joined by the still beautiful Juhi Chawla. Juhi is singing in her own voice and not lip syncing like the other actors and it shouldn’t be a surprise coz she always had a very good voice. Very nice.

Next is Zakir Hussain who is quite electrifying on the tabla or should I say tablas because he is surrounded by about 10 tablas of various sizes and his instrumental version is also very very good.

Howrah Bridge and the making of the durga idols and with that we have singer Shaan and actors Prosenjit and Rituparna Sengupta. Bengal. Tick. Corny. Tick. Lame. Tick.

Bhupen Hazarika comes on to represent Assam and the poor old man probably is too sick to walk so its a close-up of him against some fake backdrop and the poor man has more make up than Aishwarya and her hubby combined.

It gets worse.

Next comes Shilpa Shetty surrounded by lots of Rajasthani women weaving what looks like giant shiny dish antennas. Was Shilpa Shetty the best they could get? Seriously???

Salman Khan is next and he is surrounded by (what I presume are) deaf & dumb children and the poor fellow is stereotypically made to wear jeans and a ‘banian’ and then the whole lot decide to say Mile Sur Mera Tumhara in sign language.

Percussionist Shivamani tries to do the instrumental version again by playing on water and fails miserably.

Kavita Krishnamurhy is joined by her Grammy award winning husband Mohan playing the instrument he invented and very imaginatively named: The Mohan Veena.

And then comes what is possible the lowest point of the video.

Deepika Padukone lip syncing hopelessly miss-matched to Rekha Bhardwaj’s earthy voice, dressed in an outfit that seems to be missing its lower half and standing seductively in the middle of a small river.

National Integration just went slutty.

But its not over yet. The makers decide they need rain and a close up of Ms. Padukone’s face over-emoting the lines like it were the Kama Sutra.

Wow. What has it come to.

This is followed by Priyanka Chopra (thankfully dressed decently) but again with a background voice that just doesn’t suit her. Like Juhi, Piggy Chops is also a pretty good singer so I wonder why they didn’t just let her sing her part.

Following her is the trio of Father: Ustad Amjad Ali Khan and Sons: Amaan & Ayaan Ali Khan. Once more their instrumental on the Sarod is beautiful.

By now its getting a lil boring and it only gets worse with more versions of the song sung by many more ‘artists’.

Dr. Yesudas singing alongside a very tall guy. Note to self: If standing next to a tall person and the camera is only filming waist up, get a stool.

Mamooty among some coconut trees but no Mohanlal.

An over enthu Gujju dude on a bus followed by actor Atul Kulkarni to represent the Marathis.
Where’s Raj Thackerey when you need him.


Louis Banks come on playing a guitarish-keyboard but its good to know he’s finally getting some recognition.

Actor and Danseuse Shobana is joined by Shaimak Davar and as they dance together, Shobana dressed in and dancing the uber-traditional Bharatnatyan and Shaimak in jeans dancing new age freestyle, its odd how Shaimak’s moves look more feminine than Shobana’s. Just saying.

Aamir Khan is next.

He begins in Shaan’s voice and in a throwback to his directoral debut, Taare Zameen Par, is surrounded by children. But trust Bollywood to not know when to stop. Aamir continues to sing the song but this time its to the tune of Aati Kya Khandala?

National Integration just became a pick up line.

Sonu Nigam obviously hasn’t given up neither his dream to become an actor nor his ambition to seem like a cool NRI ‘dude’ and here he is filmed in a busy street surrounded by ordinary folk singing beautifully (we have to give him that) but acting horribly. Someone wake him up. Hrithik Roshan he certainly is not.

And now Bollywood takes over completely.

Shahid Kapur sings the song like he did “Bakhuda Tumhi Ho”. Like it’s a rock anthem.

Ranbir Kapoor standing uninterestedly atop a hillock in white. Wasn’t it just the heroines his grandad dressed in white?

Karan Johar is very very fittingly shot in a multiplex.

SRK’s next. He brings rare passion to the song and even manages to do his outstretched hand act. Mile Sur indeed.

The 3 Olympic medalists Abhinav Bindra, Vijender Singh and the wrestling dude make up the sports quota with Bhaichung Bhutia & Saina Nehwal (thankfully not Sania Mirza) thrown in for variety.

It ends with a montage of army officers passing out mixed with some strange shots of people skiing down some slopes (??).

So is it better or even as good as the original?

And the simple answer is a resounding NO.

The lasting image from the original was of the Nightingale Lata Mangeshker dresses in a white sari with a tri-coloured aanchal signing while this one has a skimpily dressed Deepika Padukone singing in the rain.

The answer is quite simple isn’t it?

But What say You

Let me know.


Luv as usual.

Vish


THE ORIGINAL VERSION


Friday, January 29, 2010

Ishqiya - Movie Review


DIL SA KOI KAMEENA NAHI.



ISHQIYA

*ing Naseeruddin Shan, Vidya Balan, Arshad Warsi

Lyrics: Gulzar

Music & Producer: Vishal Bhardwaj

Director: Abhishek Chaubey



Living in Abu Dhabi one has access to a host of international cuisines and being the foodie I am I love eating out and experimenting with some of the dishes at home too. But every once in a while even faced with a choice of world cuisine, all I long for is a desi chatpata chat. Maybe some teekha puchka. Some simple but tongue-scorching jhal-muri. Or if all else fails then sometimes I take the plain ol’ daal and add that ‘tadka’. And its transformed. Just like that.

Ishqiya is like that. I don’t know what exactly Vidya means when she says “Chutiya Sulphate” but boy-o-boy do I want to be called that by someone like her.





During the earlier agitation for the separate state of Gorkhaland in Darjeeling during the late 80’s the weapon of choice used to be the ‘khaduwa’ and being the village gun that it was it was pretty unpredictable and you never knew how it would go off, when it would go off or for that matter which direction it would go off in.


And like that ‘khaduwa’ you are initially never sure where this movie is going. BUT once it gets going what a ride this movie is and what actors.

And what a performance by Vidya Balan.

You’ve seen her mostly as the demure Indian girl and while in Ishqiya too she is still as Indian as they come but as the unpredictable Krishna its probably not the India you were expecting.


Its rural, it earthy and it’s an India whose heart does not just beat but instead pulsates.


And matching her step for step is Naseerudin Shah and Arshad Warsi. As Khalu Jaan and Babban they have such crackling chemistry between the three that you will be hard put to peel your eyes away from the screen.



And why should you?



Ishqiya has humour that crackles, it has romance which is both old fashioned (watch how Khalujaan bonds with Krishna over old songs and 'lasoon') and lustful (Babban and Krishan share what is possibly one of the most realistically horny kisses filmed in Bollywood), Ishqiya has a great soundtrack (Ibn-Battuta, Dil Toh Bachcha, Ab Muhje Koi) and an even better background score (Vishal scoring it almost like a Sergio Leone western) and if you think it’s a boring ‘village’ kinda film then perish the thought.


It has twists and turns coming in at every 10-15 minutes and its so fast you’ll probably need to watch it a second time to fully get every nuance, sub-text and pun.

During the first 5 minutes you have a playful husband and wife sharing some domestic moments and when she says ‘surrender’, he being the rustic villager, says ‘cylinder’.

“Surrender baba Surrender. Not Cylinder”, she playfully corrects him.

2 odd hours later in the climax this conversation is recollected and this time you suddenly realize, its not a mispronunciation anymore. Splendid.


I haven’t been divulging any part of the story and its only because you will be best served if you go in to watch this movie with a clean slate. Just absorb everything that gets thrown at you and enjoy this desi tadka.


Desi was never so raunchy, desi was never so naughty and desi was never so much fun.

Its still early in the year but its probably one of the best movies of 2010.

Go Enjoy.

Luv

Vish

P.S. If your idea of a great director is Subash Ghai or if Zayed Khan is one of your idols or heaven forbid if you think KJo movies (as fun as they are) are masterpieces then its safe to say that you’ll probably NOT like this movie.



Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Film Trailers



COMING ATTRACTIONS

Here's 2 trailers for 2 very interesting upcoming films.

The first one is called Teen Patti and is directed by Leena Yadav whose previous film was the awfully confusing and disastrous Sanjay Dutt-Aishwarya Rai starrer Shabd in 2005. This film stars Amitabh Bachchan, Ben Kingsley, R. Madhavan & Raima Sen with even Richard Gere making a guest appearance.

Should be interesting to watch AB and Gandhi face off.

What say??



The second trailer is of Rajneeti. It stars Ajay Devgan, Nana Patekar, Katrina Kaif, Ranbir Kapoor, Arjun Rampal and Manoj Bajpai in principal roles.


You can begin guessing who is who... is Katrina playing Sonia, is Ranbir, Rahul and Arjun?? is that Sanjay Gandhi etc etc..

Sounds Fun naa??

Enjoy.


No second chances

IMPRESSIONS & PERCEPTIONS

I was just wondering how first impressions and then the perceptions we form about things and people prejudice us and make us blind to everything else that is contrary to that image that we have fixed in our heads.

Take Himesh Reshammiya.

It wont be an exaggeration to say that apart from a few auto drivers, most people love to turn up their noses at him.

Crass, egoistic, tactless, self centered, indiscreet are just some of the ways of describing him and apart from the fact that most of them are probably accurate it however does not take away from the fact that he does have some talent.



Not as a Singer (even with the alleged nose job which took away the nasal twang) and most definitely not as an Actor (even with the not so subtle hair-weave).




But as a Composer he does have talent. We have to atleast give him that much credit.

But the fact is that once we have formed an opinion we rarely make room for change.

Take just 3 examples.

Main Jahaan Rahoon from Namaste London and Jaaneman & Piya Jaise Laado both from Radio.


Main Jahaan Rahoon is one of the most in-demand songs on request shows and is without doubt a hauntingly beautiful song sung even more beautifully by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. Never mind the fact that Himesh decides to sing along and almost murders the composition with his high pitched (remember this was before the nose-job) chorus. It was one of the best songs of that year.

Jaaneman from Radio is another beautiful number (based solely on the composition and tune) which however gets massacred the moment Himesh decides to sing it himself. The nose job has eliminated the nasal tone but somehow it is now replaced with a lisp (listen to him say/sing the word ‘guzaarish’). But wait till Shreya Ghosal comes on to truly appreciate the beauty of the song. But for most of us the song never stood a chance because the idea of Himesh as a hip young DJ being pursued by countless women was just too much to be taken seriously.


Piya Jaise Laado from the same movie is a semi classical-folk number sung wonderfully by Rekha Bhardwraj and if it was any other composer it would have been praised to the skies as an example of the composer's versatility but with Himesh its just overlooked. And again maybe its because he foolishly decides to sing along to this one too.

Yes he does talk crazy (everytime he opens his mouth) and act crazy (like the time he went to a muslim shrine dressed in a burkha) but he cant be all that bad can he? But do we care? No Sir. We’ve already decided that he is a joke.


Poor chap. He just doesn’t stand a chance.

But he is not alone.

We do the same with friends, acquaintances and idols too.

Don’t we.

Just ask
Tiger Woods.


Till Next time



Luv


Vish




Sunday, January 03, 2010

WHO YOU CALLING IDIOT?

IDIOT IS AS IDIOT DOES






Dear All,


I have been observing the ongoing "fued" between the writer of 5 Point Something, Chetan Bhagat and the increasingly arrogant pair of Vidhu Vinod Chopra & Aamir Khan.


I have been thinking of blogging about this but after coming across this article by Vir Sanghvi in the Hindustan Times, i guess i'll just let you read it.


He says it best and he says it all.


Enjoy.

Vish


It’s about behaving with grace, you idiots!
Vir Sanghvi, Hindustan Times


Here are two images you may remember from television. The first was the Oscar ceremony. Simon Beaufoy won the Oscar for best adapted screenplay for Slumdog Millionaire. It is no secret that Beaufoy’s script differed significantly from the book by Vikas Swarup on which Slumdog was based. But Beaufoy made it a point to thank Swarup on stage and to say that without his book there would be no screenplay, no movie, and no Oscars.


Later that same night Slumdog director Danny Boyle, while accepting his own Oscar, apologised to the choreographer Longinus, whose name had been left out of the end credits of Slumdog. When the film won the Best Picture Oscar, the entire unit went on stage including Vikas Swarup who had been flown in to Los Angeles by the makers of the film at their expense.

And here is a second image. It is a press conference in Noida on Friday. The cast and makers of 3 Idiots are answering questions from the press as part of the publicity campaign for the film. When journos keep asking about the lack of recognition accorded to author Chetan Bhagat, on whose book the film is based, producer Vidhu Vinod Chopra stands up, points a finger at an inquisitive journalist and shouts ‘Shut up’. Chopra is prevented from saying much more by his colleagues and Aamir Khan then swings into damage control mode. He tries to sound reasonable but manages to abuse Chetan Bhagat, calls him publicity hungry — a bit rich considering the stunts Aamir staged to gain publicity for 3 Idiots — and berates journos for believing Bhagat.





What is the difference between the two images?

I think one word sums it up: grace.

Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy and the Slumdog unit behaved with grace. Vinod Chopra and his star behaved with a complete lack of grace.


If you’ve missed the controversy, here’s what it is about. Vidhu Vinod Chopra bought the rights to Chetan Bhagat’s novel and then turned it into 3 Idiots. Nobody disputes that 3 Idiots is based on the Bhagat novel and indeed Bhagat is credited as such in the movie.


The point of discord is the placing of the credit. Bhagat suggests that it should have been at the beginning along with all the other writer credits. Instead it appears at the very end.


In his defence, Chopra says that the end is an appropriate place for the credit because his scriptwriters, including Rajkumar Hirani, the film’s director, changed so much of the story that the final film has little to do with Bhagat’s novel.


Bhagat says that this is not true. Yes of course there is a lot in the film that he did not write but it is still recognisably his story and on his blog he lists several points of similarity.


For the purposes of argument, I am quite prepared to believe Aamir and Chopra when they deny Bhagat’s version of events. I am also prepared to accept that the screenplay is significantly different from Bhagat’s novel.


But here’s the thing: it shouldn’t make a difference.


Vidhu Vinod Chopra is contractually obliged to give Bhagat credit as the writer of the source material for the movie. So, the issue is not whether the script is 95 per cent based on the book or 25 per cent derived from Bhagat’s novel. The only issue is one of placing. Should Bhagat have been part of the opening credits? And was it graceless to bury his name in the end credits?

In Hollywood, it is not uncommon for scriptwriters to significantly alter the plots of source material or to only use a part of the book. Slumdog differs significantly from Vikas Swarup’s Q&A. The Firm dispenses with John Grisham’s ending and invents a new one. In Papillon, a major character who was not even in the book was invented by the scriptwriters. David Lean’s Dr Zhivago junked the second half of the book. The recent My Sister’s Keeper differs substantially from Jodi Picoult’s bestseller of the same name.

In every single case, however, the original novel was properly credited and the author mentioned in the opening credits. Nobody believed that this detracted in any way from the screenwriter’s achievements. It just demonstrated a certain grace and honesty on the part of the movie’s maker.


So why, you may well ask, is Vidhu Vinod Chopra being so bloody-minded about denying Chetan Bhagat his opening credit?


The honest answer is I simply cannot understand Chopra’s pettiness.
I hold no brief for any of the principals in this drama. At the HT, we’ve had a bad experience with Chetan Bhagat, who we believe behaved unprofessionally when he was a columnist. On the other hand, I have met Vinod Chopra, have worked with his wife and have always thought well of him. Personally, I have the highest regard and admiration for Aamir Khan, whom I know slightly.

So, this is not about personalities. It’s not even about principle — Chopra has conceded the principle by giving Bhagat his credit even if he has buried it in the end.
It is about grace.



What does it cost the makers of 3 Idiots to give Chetan Bhagat his credit in the space where a writer’s credit is traditionally placed in the international movie business? It would make no difference to the movie’s massive box-office performance. We would not think any less of Rajkumar Hirani, a fine director with a great track record. And Aamir’s reputation as the most consistently successful star of our times would remain intact.


Finally, it comes down to how big a human being is prepared to be. Even people who did not think much of Slumdog Millionaire were overwhelmed when Danny Boyle used the Oscar platform to say sorry to Longinus for leaving his name out of the credits. That was the single-biggest night in Boyle’s life, a culmination of everything he had worked for. And he still found the time to mention an Indian dance director he would probably never meet again.

That’s what I call class.

Our own film industry, however, has not covered itself in glory by the way in which it has behaved over Bhagat’s credit. Our producers, directors and actors have come across as mean-spirited and petty and ready to get into fights over something as minor as the placing of a credit.

Just as India has the potential to become a superpower in the 21st century so Bollywood has the opportunity to become the world’s leading film industry in this century. Certainly, we are not short of talent or of audiences.


What we are short of, however, is grace. And our directors need to learn that no amount of box-office success can buy you class. Our film industry will never hit the big time if its leading lights continue to think like small-timers.


It’s time for Aamir, Chopra and Hirani to show some grace. Otherwise they risk coming across as three idiots.

The views expressed by the author are personal