A LOVE-HATE MOVIE
I HATE LUV STORYS
* Imran Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Samir Dattani
Music - Vishal Shekhar
Director: Punit Malhotra
In an upcoming film (Once Upon A Time In Mumbai) there is a song where one of the lines goes like this:
“Tere sang chain bhi mujhko, tere sang bekarari hai.” (With you I find contentment and with you restlessness too.)
Watching I Hate Luv Storys I had a similar experience.
For its genre and for what it was promising to be, it was a fair deal. And yet there were moments when my concentration was wandering and I was left thinking of various other things like did i turn off the lights in my flat or should i go for indian or chinese after the movie (food that is in case you are wondering).
And like I’ve always said, whenever that happens at the movies it is never a good sign.
IHLS is not a bad film. Infact it has many things going for it, like a soundtrack that’s both rocking and soulful, lead actors who are photogenic and from the yuppie gen-x, costumes, art direction, cinematography everything is top notch, but all the individual parts somehow don’t come together as a cohesive whole.
Imran Khan playing J or Jay Dhingra looks fairer, prettier and more delicate than Sonam and I suspect the director realized this and in many scenes he’s made to sport a stubble. He is very earnest and can act well too but the guy seriously needs to get two
things in control. His Pout and his Eyebrows. In many scenes, his (extremely bushy) eyebrows seem to be acting independently of the rest of his face. Fascinating? Yes! Interesting ?? NO. Unless you happen to be a hair care specialist.
And then there is the pout. With Imran (and I guess the tween girls must love that very pout) it has always been quite pronounced but more so when he is lip synching to the songs. Watch him in the title track and during ‘Sadka Kiya’. Nemo pouts less than Imran.
Sonam Kapoor plays the filmy Simran (presumably after Kajol’s character in DDLJ). Last year in the Indian version of GQ, the irrepressible Shoobaa De was asked to comment on the current crop of heroines and for Sonam, she had this to say: “Pretty but Very Boring and with Zero Sex Appeal.”
Well, what can I say to top that?
Sonam Kapoor plays the filmy Simran (presumably after Kajol’s character in DDLJ). Last year in the Indian version of GQ, the irrepressible Shoobaa De was asked to comment on the current crop of heroines and for Sonam, she had this to say: “Pretty but Very Boring and with Zero Sex Appeal.”
Well, what can I say to top that?
Don’t get me wrong, Sonam is very pretty (and fashionable) but there is something very ‘behenji’ about her that never seems to transcend into a matinee idol status. In the Sadka Kiya song, she is dressed in the obligatory chiffon sarees with blouses that look suspiciously like bikini tops and yet as she reclines on an artistically placed dead-wood she arouses no passion whatsoever. Kajol & Kareena can show more oomph with a glance. For me Sonam is the A-List version of Amrita Rao.
Samir Dattani plays Sonam’s fiancée Raj and his character is again so one dimensional that right from the time he comes on screen with his fugly shirt you know he doesn’t stand a chance in hell. I know he’s the second lead and that J and Simran are meant for each other but when will Bollywood learn that when you begin to flesh out the secondary characters, you make us care more about the turns in the story. Poor Raj here is such a caricature that you never feel for Simran & J’s breakups simply because you know Simran cant possibly love that cardboard cut out that is Raj.
J’s friend. I don’t know his name but the fat friend gets some of the movie’s best lines and rocks them every time. His delivery, timing, expressions are all spot on. When the usually non-sentimental J begins to fall in love and comes rushing into the office asking where’s Simran, Fatty deadpans “Kyun, kya tu uske baache ki maa banne wala hai?” (Why, are you pregnant with her child?) or the time when he shows J his hilarious and yet apt graph about the Hot quotient of girls versus their ‘natak’ and somehow how this is all tied up in Profit and Loss.
TV star Aamir Ali plays the Movie star in IHLS and he is suitably wacky and obnoxious. I don’t know if he was modeled on Salman Khan but he brings the house down when he parades around in tight jeans because the girls allegedly ‘love his tight butt’.
Samir Dattani plays Sonam’s fiancée Raj and his character is again so one dimensional that right from the time he comes on screen with his fugly shirt you know he doesn’t stand a chance in hell. I know he’s the second lead and that J and Simran are meant for each other but when will Bollywood learn that when you begin to flesh out the secondary characters, you make us care more about the turns in the story. Poor Raj here is such a caricature that you never feel for Simran & J’s breakups simply because you know Simran cant possibly love that cardboard cut out that is Raj.
J’s friend. I don’t know his name but the fat friend gets some of the movie’s best lines and rocks them every time. His delivery, timing, expressions are all spot on. When the usually non-sentimental J begins to fall in love and comes rushing into the office asking where’s Simran, Fatty deadpans “Kyun, kya tu uske baache ki maa banne wala hai?” (Why, are you pregnant with her child?) or the time when he shows J his hilarious and yet apt graph about the Hot quotient of girls versus their ‘natak’ and somehow how this is all tied up in Profit and Loss.
TV star Aamir Ali plays the Movie star in IHLS and he is suitably wacky and obnoxious. I don’t know if he was modeled on Salman Khan but he brings the house down when he parades around in tight jeans because the girls allegedly ‘love his tight butt’.
Music: Vishal Shekhar give what is probably their best soundtrack ever. The title song is rocking and Bahara, Bin Tere and Sadka Kiya are all very hummable and memorably picturized. On the album Bahara has a Chill version sung but Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and it’s a surprise this is not used in the movie. Its much better than the Shreya Ghosal one.The director is Punit Malhotra who’s the nephew of fashion designer Manish Malhotra and so the look of the film is great with tees and skirts snug and fitting but somehow the script seems a little loose.
Great to look at and a not a bad way to pass the time at the cinemas but IHLS leaves you a little ‘bekerar’ for more.
Simran looks pretty, J looks prettier and Raj is Fugly. But Love & Passion?? Naa! Not in this movie.
But can you blame them?
After all the title song HAD warned us…
“Mil gaye jo chora chori,
Hui masti thodi thodi.
Bas Pyar ka naam na lena,
I Hate Luv Storys.”
