OF THE MUSLIM, BY THE MUSLIM, FOR THE MUSLIMS

Hi All Again,




Been some time but since i am planning a short sojourn to Finland, Germany, France, Italy and possibly (Amsterdam & Belgium) with a college-mate who is currently based in Helsinki, I have been crazy busy with the visas, tickets etc..



Was surfing the net and this is an excerpt from a blog called “Malice and Mediocrity” by a blogger nicknamed Kaya who as far as I’ve deduced from the writings is female and of possible Pakistani origin.



Her views on Muslims is accurate, refreshing and wonderfully erudite and would certainly be termed “racist” if not for the fact that the author is a muslim herself.



Do enjoy.



Ciao



Vish


THE DESI MUSLIM


"In my country we have 3 types of Muslims. I am not talking in terms of Sunni/Shiaa and God only knows about how many sects that have sprung up. I am talking about generic garden variety Muslims.



First on the list is the "DEFAULT" musallmaan.



This type considers himself a Muslim, because he has a Muslim name, and because he was born in a Muslim home. He is a Muslim by default. Generally consisting of uneducated lower classes. He cannot read the Quran, but will know how to squeeze out every penny as he spins his heart breaking tale, at whichever spot your car happens to have stopped. She will be the one cleaning your homes in the role of the "maasi" (cleaning woman). She will never have said a namaaz in her life, but at EID, and every other function in your home she will be first in queue, for her rights to charity.



Second on the list is our "DESI CULTURAL" Muslim.



Found customarily and habitually in our "aunty" crowd. These are the ladies who will know at which ceremony which gift has to be given to whom. The minute they hear the adhaan (call to prayer) they will immediately stop for 2 seconds to take a break from whomever their vicious tongues are tearing apart at the moment, and roll their eyes shut to mutter a few duas, and then will resume their gossip.



These are the women you will regularly find at the death/wedding/birth occasions, where they will insist certain traditions have to be followed. Should you demur at anything this will immediately be followed with sentences that begin with , "in our time...." and a lot of eye rolling and beseeching to the heavens for deliverance.



When they come to a house where a death has taken place, everyone becomes an authority on how to prepare the body for burial, and their viciousness is particularly directed towards the new grieving widow. They will sob and howl , in between their counting of chickpeas/kidney beans or Quran. They will watch the widow with hawk like eyes, and tell her all about things which she can't possibly be in any frame of mind to comprehend. They will gleefully tell her about the colours/jewellery she can no longer wear. Much of these are nothing but rituals of Hinduism, and therefore the name "cultural-muslim". Such is our sub continent legacy.



Should it be a man, then the main worry on their minds is how soon they can marry the poor bastard off, to their ageing/divorced/widowed daughters/nieces/neighbours. Because Allah knows a woman can live by the company of the children to sustain her, as she has no other needs in life, but a man cannot- HEAVEN FORBID- live alone by himself(Chi Chi, Touba touba - more eye rolling) , and the children will need a mother figure after all.



The cultural Muslim will know every custom with every corresponding occasion. Many will pray but only towards the latter end of their lives when they know fully well that death can come calling very soon. Mostly its the twice a year/ or friday afternooners.



They want their daughters in law to be obedient brainless and follow them around like slaves. Their daughters will be vicious little skanks who interfere in everything esp in the life of her married brother. Their own men are often spineless, and if he dares to rear his head, he is taken care of without further ado. Most often a groom is sought in the family and will continue to reside in the home of his wife, as what is known as "ghar jamaii", or INHOUSE HUSBAND.



Islam for these women is purely for viewing pleasure. And for the Men: Feudal Lord.



Third in line are the FANATICAL MUSLIMS.



The ones with their black attires doing the whole gloves and slits for viewing things.For these women mascara and lipstick are but tools of the devil. Heaven forbid they should wax or look presentable even if it for their own men. Bathing for some reason is a totally Alien concept as is deodorant.

They take the Holy Book literally, and beyond that.



Their MEN are the ones thumping the pulpit every Friday sermon, and insisting their 3 wives and 14 children has nothing to do with bodily pleasures. Any woman who dares to do anything other than stay at home, cook clean and reproduce is nothing less than a whore.

They have straggly beards heavily hennaed, will wear the pants above their ankles, and a turban that is often green. I am aware of the sunnah of the beard, henna and turban, please I don't want to be bombarded with ISLAMOPHOBIC endearments.

But try to have a discussion with any one of these men and before you know , you have questioned his knowledge, therefore his authority and since HE is his own appointed MINI ME God, therefore he is rightfully ordained to have you stoned to death.Islam is not about all the things that the Taliban has made Islam known for.

There are those who are there who do not fit in these categories, those who read, who understand, and are well versed in many things.Those who are willing to adapt to change and accept change, because to survive that is what we have to do. For people to understand and accept us that is what we must do.

Ameen"