HINDSIGHT THEY SAY IS 20/20.

They say hindsight is 20/20 and while that may be true it can also be very cruel to mediocrity.
My conclusion (like it is some profound theory) is that if your product is not very good then it will not last the test of time. It may work in the ‘now’ but once the euphoria dies down it can end up looking cheesy and dated.

The reason I am thinking all this is because yesterday evening while flicking through the TV channels I came across a re-run of Knight Rider. Having been quite a fan of the talking car K.I.T.T in my childhood I settled down hoping for a trip down nostalgia lane. However my excitement was short lived as the previously exciting series seemed to have become cheesy, overacted and like something out of a time warp. The futuristic talking car looked outdated & common, the attempt at humour was awful and David Hasselhoff’s acting was a pain to watch. Wait a minute. I can’t complain. David always was, and still is a pain to watch. So nothing’s changed there.

Anyway, you might argue and say that it is usually the case with old things but then again, I chanced upon an Enid Blyton book at a friends house which his son was reading and as I flipped through, it seemed to still have the magic that had me enchanted more than 2 decades ago.

If you’ve ever read the Magic Faraway Tree or imagined yourself in the tree house with the Secret Seven or Famous Five you will know what I mean. Infact any child’s formative years is incomplete if they cannot relish the pleasures of letting their imagination run wild with characters like Moonface, Silky, The Saucepan Man, Dame Washalot, Mr. Whatsisname and the Angry Pixie. Or imagining visiting the ‘lands’ that come to the top of the tree, sometimes extremely unpleasant (Land of Dame Slap) or sometimes fantastically enjoyable (Land of Birthdays, Land of Take-What-You-Want etc).



Infact Blyton’s books cater right from nursery (Noddy) through primary school (Faraway Tree) to mid school (Secret Seven, Famous Five) right up to pre-high school (Malory Towers, St. Claire Series).

Anyway coming back to now, so do you think some of the modern ‘hits’ will survive the test of time?

Harry Potter? Certainly!
Rang De Basanti? Yeah!
Amitabh Bachchan’s Personal Legacy vis a vis Amar “P.I.M.P” Singh? Not so much.
Himesh the Crooner? IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Don’t think So.

But that’s just my thoughts. Musings you may call it.

Ciao

Vish

MEMORIES RECOLLECTED IN SOLITUDE



I was very interested in oratory from childhood (maybe that’s why I’ve found my vocation as a trainer) and have always loved poems. This morning I sat in my office with the rare desert rain falling outside turning the usually dry windy climate into a rain-drenched vista. It was then that my mind went back to poetry.

what if Batman was blind ??

The 3 of my absolute favourite ones are


a) Daffodils by William Wordsworth
b) If by Rudyard Kipling and
c) The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and all for different reasons.

Daffodils because it was the first recital for which I won an elocution award way back when I was in the 4th standard. Sometimes, like today morning, those memories come back “and then my heart with pleasure fills and dances with the daffodils.”

“If” because apart from being inspirational, each and every one of life’s lessons are in it. My favourite line in the poem is:

“If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same”



what if Superman was black ??

The Road Not Taken by Frost is the personal favourite because of its simplicity and the fact that it does not moralize about choice. It simply says that choice is inevitable but you never know what choice you have made until you’ve lived it. And regrets and second guesses about roads we did not take will always nag the back of our minds. The “What If’s…” of life.

Don’t we all experience that?

what if Hulk was a woman ??

What if I had said I Love You that day?
What if I had not left early that evening?
What if I had taken the other flight?
What if..
What If….

And now sometimes as we sit back and think about those decisions we’ve made, we either smile or think, what if….

And maybe that’s what life is all about.

You live the life you choose and you dream about the the life that could have been.

And that makes all the difference.

Enjoy the poem and till next time...

Love

Vish

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.

HOW TO LOVE


The internet is indeed a wonderful thing and sometimes it just comes up with new ways to amaze and even maybe shock us.
I am sure you must have heard about Wikipedia : the internet encyclopedia. Anyway they have a sister site called wikihow which is kind of an internet ‘how-to’ manual about everything. You would think it would be useful to learn how to tie a tie or cook pasta or make a cupboard etc. etc

It has all that except that it also happens to have section on “How To Love”.
WOW!
Forget a manual, I didn’t even know there was a way to love.
Curious as I am I checked it out and the introduction to the page said:



“Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving. Love is the continual act of unconditionally putting the needs of others before your own.”



And then for some unfathomable reason it also saw it fit to helpfully add:



“Love sucks”

Below that were some ‘tips’ on loving and I could rephrase them for you but I possible couldn’t do them justice so I will just quote some of them… I have not changed a single word or added even a single phrase or punctuation. I didn’t need to. It was so classic.


· There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
· You have to find someone that will suit you. Someone you feel comfortable with. Not just someone to "do it" with.

· As a word, love can be found worldwide and you also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?

· Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.

Then the next section also had helpful warnings. I particularly liked the one about finding your soul-mate before you want to. Priceless!

Warnings
· There is always the risk of getting hurt, but that's part of letting yourself fully love and trust some one. Being hurt could be long-lasting and could hurt more than anything in the world.

· If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.

· The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.

· You just may find your soul-mate sooner than you want to.

Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love

Keep in mind that "True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be." (Unknown)

And the priceless related links in the end.

Related wikiHows
· How to Define Love
· How to Make a Decision Using a Quantitative Scoring System
· How to Break up
· How to Remove a Hickey
· How to Write a Love Poem
· How to Get a Real Good Man
· How to Find Your Soulmate
· How to Explicate a Poem
· How to Write a Meaningful Poem
· How to Write a Tetactrys Poem
· How to Kiss Goodnight

I am not sure if it has helped you find out HOW TO LOVE but I certainly hope it has brought a smile to your face. And in these busy stressed times, that’s more than one can ask.

Love you all….

Vish

AM I A RACIST OR IS RACISM ALL IN THE MIND?


“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday evening and this thought suddenly popped into my head.
Should you be called a racist if you are not thinking like a racist?

This friend of mine Jesse, is South African. He is a coloured South African (his words) as his father is brown (of ancient Indian origin) and his mother is British.

And so do I feel any kind of racism against him because of the colour of his skin?? Certainly Not! Nor for that matter do I think that the‘whites’ are superior in any way.
However of course I have no qualms about calling Jesse, Nigga. He too does not mind as, I’m sure, he knows its only in jest.
So does that make me a racist? I don’t think so!

Of course it helps that I refer to him as in the hip-hop flavored Nigga as opposed to the more literal Nigger or god forbid, Negro.

The recent Madhuri Dixit (phew here comes the filmy reference again) controversy about the usage of the word Mochi in her song created a fury in India. So much so that the self annointed messiah of the poor, Madame Mayawati (who incidentally likes diamonds and traveling First Class) even banned the film in U.P.

So the question therefore; Is Mochi really a derogatory term?

Is it Racist or Caste-ist? I am not sure but I wasn’t quite convinced by the argument they were putting out that referring to a person by his profession is wrong.

What a load of Bullshit.

So does that mean, that we can’t call a Doctor a Doctor? What about Lawyers, Chefs, Engineers….?

And why did only the Mochis complain? If I remember the song has also mentioned Sunars (goldsmiths). Isn't that too a profession?

The real problem, I am guessing, is that it was because of the inference in the song that in a fit of madness even Mochi’s were being stupid enough to compare themselves to the Sunar’s.

"Mohalle mein kaisi maramar hai, bole mochi bhi khud ko sunar hai”

(there is so much commotion in town that even a mochi thinks he is a sunar).

Now that must have lit a fire up the Mochi buttocks. And Understandable So. But then why not complain about that directly instead of trying say Mochi in itself is a derogatory term. It certainly is not.

As I was once told by a wise old Irish priest in school, no work, if honest, is ever disgraceful. You can be a dishwasher or a sweeper, but if it is helping you to earn a fair living it is an honorable job. Just like Mochis too should be.
Dignity of Labour, I believe is what they call it.

The next para in the song goes on to say “Mujhe Deta Udhaari Halwai Re” (even the sweet shop man gives me credit) which is to say that she is so pretty that even the traditionally scrooge (Halwai) gives her credit.
Isn’t there some kind of insult hidden there too? Shouldn’t the Halwai’s protest? Or does it not matter because the Halwai is not exactly lower caste?

Is political appeasement making the lower caste to thin skinned?

Isn’t political correctness going too far now-a-days? What happened to having a sense of humour?

What do you feel when you look at the pictures in this post?
You can smile and understand that it is just a joke and that means that you are NOT a right-wing freak.
Or you can feel that Mother Teresa & Co are being insulted. That’s fine too and its your opinion but does it make ME a fanatic? Afterall it is MY opinion too.

And like some wiseguy said, Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

While in college in Bangalore we had a friend, Farshad from Sri Lanka who is a Muslim and we used to, and still, call him Mozzy. It was never an issue with us even when, he in turn, called us Chinkis. Afterall he was a Mozzy and we were Chinkis (cute ones though).

If my colored friend doesn’t mind being called a Nigga why should the cobblers be so offended that some song in some movie makes a general passing reference?

However I am not a Mochi so I guess its easy for me to sermonize but then this is MY blog so I will do just that.

Or maybe you could just tell me;

“Vishal Tennu ki Farak Penda Hai?”

And I’d say;

“Because Aae Wai”

New Mantra for 2008

A Paki-Punjabi colleague of mine often keeps me regaled with stories at work and in the process, ever so often, slips in a phrase or two of Punjabi.

Like sometimes when he does something just for the heck of it and I ask him why and he replies “Aae Wai” (pronounced with a nasal twang) which means “Just like that”.

However the one which he has been saying for the last few years but which only recently caught my fancy is the phrase “Tennu Ki Farak Penda Hai”

It translates as “How does it make a difference to you?” but the true meaning is in the saying. How you say it.

If you’ve noticed, I have not put any punctuation at the end of that phrase quite simply because the meaning of it changes along with the tone you say it in.

It could be a Question or a Statement or even just a throwaway line to end a discussion.

It also happens to be extremely catchy.

A friend of mine, Robin (no relation to Batman), has taken to it like a fish and does not miss any opportunity to use it and does it quite well too.

Last night when I called him on his mobile and asked where he was, he said he was in London.

Knowing the exorbitant rates that the local telecom operator charges for international roaming, I quickly apologized and tried to hang up, but guess what he said to me?

Yes…

“Tennu Ki Farak Penda Hai” he said.

Quite rightly too. His phone, his charge and he is willing to chat so... "Mennu Ki Farak Penda Hai?"

Now apart from the catchy note it is also a mantra of the year for me becoz of what it can represent.

Many times we are often caught in the bubble of our own self importance that we end up taking ourselves a tad too seriously.

WE think the world will come to a standstill without us. The work will stop without us.

Us, us us…… It’s all about me, me, me.

In the process we end up sad, tired and with unnecessary headaches & problems.

In those times, the phrase reminds us, ever so gently and wittily, to just ride with the flow…... you know, to just Chill.

And boy don’t we need to do that sometimes!

So this 2008 don’t take yourself sooooo seriously.

Life is short, Make New Friends Have some fun, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

After all “Tennu Ki Farak Penda Hai”

Belated maybe, but Happy New Year 2008 and Have A Great Year Ahead.

Anyway Aae Wai... Love..

- Vish

BEST MOVIES 2007 PART 2 (scroll down for part 1)

5) Bheja Fry: Again for just 1 person. Vinay Pathak. He is my choice to take over the empty space left behind by Sanjeev Kumar with a bit of Kishore added for grins.
Best Scene: — Rajat Kapoor's mistress is unable to understand a word he's been using to describe her, until Vinay translates it for her, much to Rajat's horror. Watch all three expressions at this time. Priceless.


4) Taare Zameen Par: Great Movie and it would have been much higher up in the ranking if not for Aamir Khan’s “look-i-am-acting” performance. Surprisingly for once everything about him was off-key; Dialogues – too filmy (in the classroom) too preachy (with parents) too condescending (with other teachers), Tears – too conflicted: too often: too much. Not to mention the cartoonish teachers, the Laloo like hindi teacher with the mandatory hair in the ear, the almost Santa like English teacher with his constant Ho Ho Ho laugh. However the kid and the 1st half was first rate.
Best Scene: The kid bunks school and with Adnan Sami’s mesmeric vocals coaxing Mera Jahaan, we get to see a city from a child’s perspective like never before. Only a child can ‘enjoy’ a drop of paint falling on the cheek.


3) The Namesake. Tabu bids farewell to her new husband in a new apartment in a new city and takes down the cornflakes and adds some chilly powder to make an impromptu jhalmuri. Tabu receives a call that her husband is dead and suddenly alone and feeling suffocated in the house they shared together she stumbles outside and cries her heart out. I could go on but I guess you get the picture.
Best Scene: Gogol’s American girlfriend comes visiting and despite being warned not to, she proceeds to peck Irfan and Tabu on the cheek. Tabu being a woman manages it well enough but watch Irfan as he is brilliantly unsure of what to do exactly; how close to come, how much to peck, 1 cheek or two cheeks, is wife and son watching…. The scene hardly lasts 4-5 seconds but it is as good as it gets.


2) Jab We Met. The story was old. The lead stars were a flop pair. The Director in just his 2nd outing and the budget was about the same as a song in a SRK movie. Yet somehow it turned out to be one of the freshest and funniest movie of the year. As a date movie it had no equal this year. For many years directors and co-stars have talked about Kareena’s potential and here she is in full bloom.

“You are not bad looking yourself and if I wasn’t running away with my boyfriend,” she tells a stunned Shahid Kapoor, “who knows, maybe even I could have fallen in love with you” triumphantly and utterly confidently adding “Just Imagine ! ”.

No one since Basanti has made chattering look so adorable. As the song says, the whole movie is mauja hi mauja.
Best Scene: In the second half after being jilted by her lover, a down and depressed Kareena has the tables turned on her when Shahid asks her to pick up the phone and abuse her ex-boyfriend. She is reluctant but as she begins her tirade, her earlier avatar seems to come flooding back into her voice, face and expressions. No make-up, wearing a plain salwaar-kameez and screaming insults into the telephone..... yet she is completely bewitching. Mark my words. Bebo will take home every Best Actress award this year.


1) Chak De India.

Lets look at what the film did NOT have. NO Pretty Bollywood heroines, NO songs in Switzerland, NO Love Story and it was about sport. Not Cricket or Football but boring Hockey and that too women’s hockey. However what it did have is a tight script, spot on actors and of course King Khan. It is SRK’s best performance till date.
Best Scene: The night before the final, Shuklaji, the caretaker from Delhi calls. After the others have spoken, the resident bitch Bindya Niak takes the phone and teases Shuklaji about his dahi-chhawal.
“Jaan se khelna betaji,” he says “Jeet ke aana.”

“Apna Jaan de denge,” she replies softly “par harenge nahi”.

WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR nay DECADE nay CENTURY

Ram Gopal Verma Ki Aag.

It’s a pity the Sippy’s did not give Ramu permission to use Sholay as the title. If they had then more people would have gone to watch it and would have come out having even more respect for the original. The movie was not just the worst this year but probably the worst since Sholay came out 20-30 years ago. Ramu always had a huge ego and displayed even greater arrogance but it was always crouched in self deprecating humour. Quite like Amitabh Bachchan. And the two together make such a mess that remakes themselves have gone out of fashion.
There was virtually nothing in the movie worth the watch. Not Amitabh as a confused Gabbar (who for some reason keeps going ‘phuss phuss’), Not Mohanlal as Thakur (who speaks with an accent so pronounced that you wonder why he wasn’t given subtitles), and not Ajay Devgan as Veeru (imagine him taking off his shirt and trying to be sexy and funny too. Eeewwww).
Not even the constant journeys the camera was taking to the bimbo, Nisha Kothari’s ass could save the film.
To sum up, i quote from one brilliant reviewer;

"Ramu with much fanfare excretes out the resultant monstrosity calling it “Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag” where you would think, that in the interests of fair labeling, a “gaand mein” should have been added before “Aag”."

Amen!

PART 1: BEST MOVIES OF 2007

With the incessant award sessions coming up, here is Part 1 of my picks for the best of the year.

Since films and performances are quite varied and not quite quantifiable added to the fact that I have NOT watched all of them, these are my picks for the top 10 from the ones I watched. Feel free to disagree.


10) Eklavya - The Royal Guard.

Great visuals and even better style. Alas hardly any substance. Big B was OK, Sanju was very entertaining but not in tune with the movie but Saif…..well Saif was the one who should have been given the Rolls Royce as he was brilliant as the brooding vengeful confused heir. He is completely understated and nuanced and quite expectedly was not appreciated by the Bollywood junta who confuse 'loud' performances with 'good' ones (Black comes to mind immediately) The pitch black scene was gimmicky and the ending just about spoilt the movie completely. Seems like Chopra gave the last 5 minutes to Ekkta Kapoor to direct.
Best Scene: The policeman (Sanju) is at the table with the new Rana (Saif), the Uncle (Jackie) and his son (Jimmy). Amitabh is respectfully standing in the back and during the course of the conversation he comes to realize that it was Jimmy who killed the old Rana. Furious and loyal, he slowly reaches for his gun just as the policeman also begins to comprehend what is happening and quickly takes him out of the room. The camera meanwhile lingers on Saif’s face in the midst of the melee and you are not sure what are the emotions that are flickering across his face..... tilll later in the movie when everything becomes shockingly clear.

9) Cheeni Kum.

Some of the wittiest, funniest and yet natural lines spoken by characters in hindi films. One of the best of teh mature love stories. Again Big B was ‘acting’ (watch the completely unnecessary scene in the end where he runs, weeps, hugs a pillar, weeps some more... just to show he can 'act') but Tabu was wonderfully and totally in control. Coy, Shy, Brash, Frank…..every emotion in just the right dose.
Best Scene: “Why don’t you ask me the question that every boy wants to ask a girl?” a flirty Tabu tells Amitabh. Clearly wanting to ask her if she loves him but embarrassed he dilly dallies until she offers to ask it herself. “Go on,” he says expectantly, “ask me.”
Smiling coyly she asks “What is your name?”
Not to mention the pharmacy scene where the shopkeeper loudly tells an assistant "Arre bhai chacha ko Durex do"

8) Life in a Metro.

Finally a multi story movie done well. Fresh off the Big Brother publicity blaze, Shilpa headlined the movie but was actually the weakest link. The best performances in ascending order were Shiney, Sharman, Kangana, Irfaan & Konkana.
Best Scene: A cocky Irfan comes to a coffee house to meet Konkana after hooking up in an internet matrimonial portal. While she tries to make conversation he catches sight of her cleavage, likes what he sees, stops talking, continues looking, gets caught looking and then in all sincerity proceeds to justify what he is doing. Two actors at the top of their game.


7) Guru

Finally Ash acted naturally and mercifully did not pout. However her better half made up for that by hamming away to glory. Abhishek was good in the first half but in the second he turned into a caricature. In the final courtroom speech he was channeling his dad from Agneepath so much that it was miracle he did not launch into the khoon mein lathpath, lathpath, lathpath speech. It is no 7 only for Mithun’s solid performance and AR Rehman’s tunes.
Best Scene: Gurubhai (Abhi) comes to Manekda’s (Mithun) house and the confrontation that happens is what sets director Mani Ratnam apart. No loud music, no bombastic words. Just a civil conversation going wrong with the break-up between the two getting clearly evident with each sharp yet polite sentence spoken. Watch Vidya Balan emote as she is caught between the two. Magic.


6) Parzania: It is the Gujrat riots and an innocent Parsi family loses its son, and lives in constant fear, longing and despair. The film is by a US based director and the story is a true one about a Parsi friend of his who is still looking for their son. The main reason to watch the film is Sarika! Sarika! Sarika! Who knew she had it in her.
Best Scene: After wasting time on the fruitless investigation a hollow, sad and frustrated Sarika finally lets rip. And how… A truly deserved National Award.

Till Part 2 of this post here is the choice for BEST SCENE of the year.

Om Shanti Om.

Shahrukh Khan who plays a struggling actor in the movie in the first half is trying to impress Deepika. He tells her that he is a rising star from the South Indian film industry and that his name is Omswami. Channeling every bad south-indian matinee idol, and delivering utterly silly dialogues in a thick faux-tamil accent like “Rascala”, “Mind It” and his favourite phrase “Atti Katti Patti”, the biggest superstar of the country is unabashedly game for a laugh. Dressed in a shiny maroon 1 piece leather costume and battling a giant stuffed tiger he is spouting absurdly ludicrous lines.
"Pussycat Pussycat where have you been?” he asks at one point, “Have you been to London to see the Queen".

And if that was not enough he then proceeds to butcher every possible pun on the word Pussy.
Bad Pussy, Naughty Pussy, Dirty Pussy he admonishes poker faced as he tries to ‘fight’ off the tiger.

It could have gone horribly, horribly wrong but it is so, so over the top and SRK so loveable that it is pussybly the funniest scene filmed this past year.

Till Part 2.... Ciao.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008

2008 arrived and How…

2008 seemed to bring with it tales of molestation from around the world.

Now I don’t want to be all grim and grave with the first post of the new year but can you help not notice the way the year started.

In Bombay, 2 NRI couples were pounced upon by about 50 youths who proceeded to pinch and strip the wives. Inspite of photographic evidence none of them were initially arrested as the victims did not file charges. It is only after a national outcry that 12 of the assailants are being charge-sheeted. Many times in cases of sexual harassment the victims are too traumatized to complain, so does that make it okay to let the perpetrators go free? I can understand the reluctance to prosecute with no evidence or complaint but what when there is photographic evidence?

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is watching, does it make noise?

The US of A isn’t any better.

A goat was raped and killed in Florida and animal activists, police and citizens were almost as shocked to find out that bestiality isn't a crime in Florida.

“The fact that this happens is unconscionable,” an activist said. “And it should be illegal.”

And ofcourse, if it is America, can commercialism be far away. A man in the locality made a series of $10 goat T-shirts for sale.

The shirt has a pic of a goat with the slogan below;

“Baaa Means No!”

Baaapy New Year 2008.