Last evening when I was out jogging on the beautiful new cornice here in Abu Dhabi, I saw an amazing sight.
A little toddler (she couldn’t have been more than 2) was there with her parents and she was drinking water.
Ok Ok water is no big deal but she was drinking Perrier.

Apart from the fact that a heavy glass bottle is not suitable for a little baby girl to drink out of, isn’t there some kind of heath advisory against feeding babies aerated drinks? I mean, yes you have a lot of money but does she need to drink Perrier?

This only reinforces everything I’ve always felt about the rich being stupid.
The rich will buy anything as long as it is expensive and as long as too many others can’t have it.
How else would you explain the popularity of the VERTU phones. They are big, chunky and they don’t even have MP3 or cameras like other mobiles.
However they do cost upwards of $10,000 so there you go.

I’ve always had this daydream-cum-fantasy about opening a restaurant. Months before the opening, I’d begin the ad campaign but with a difference.
Instead of inviting people to come and try out the new place, I’d discourage them.
The ads would say things like “This Restaurant Is Not For Everyone” or “If You Have Only 1 House Don’t Bother To Come In” or “If You Need To Ask The Price On The Menu, You Probably Cant Afford It”.

And I have a sinking suspicion that the restaurant would become a raging success and have a waiting list for months.
There is nothing the rich like more than to know that they are NOT the same as everyone.

They always need to be noticed.
The opposite of RICH is not POOR. Its INDIFFERENCE.*
And no self respecting millionaire wants to be indifferent.

* By the way the opposite of Love too isn’t Hate. Again it’s Indifference. Think about it. So the next time some loved one says “I hate you” don’t feel so bad.

Anyway the market is filled with ‘items’ for the rich, be it the new Porsche Cayenne (certified as probably the worst performing 4X4 just above the BMW X5 which is another rich-stupid-magnet) or the new Apple iPhone. And if things are not available to the mass market, it makes it even more important to get a hold of the item.

I present you with two items that I believe will be the want of society in the coming months, maybe a small market, but there will be a few who want to have these items, just to say that they had them:

The first is the E-INK WATCH
Seiko has designed a bracelet style watch using the high contrast e-ink technology.

If the futuristic watch is set to its 'efficiency' mode, the display is informative and easy to read. If, however, the watch is set to its 'mystery' mode, the panel expresses the time in a more imaginative,evocative style.
I can't understand what’s so mysterious about telling time or in this case hiding time.

The second one is the PHILIPS-SWAROVSKI USB DRIVES

Partnering with Swarovski, Phillips is distributing the Active Crystals collection of 1GB USB drives (and sparklin' headphones, too) onto the fashion-conscience set. These are certainly as niche as niche goes.
“While I upload a few files to my computer maybe you would like to get your eyes dazzled by the light bouncing off the hundreds of crystals".
Jeweled USB ??? What next? Jewel encrusted Underpants? Wait a min, hasn't Madonna alrady done that?

On a completely different but somehow connected note, I would like to take this opportunity to blog a little about the recent AbhiAsh wedding.
I know that Amitabh has always fancied himself as royalty. (If wishes were horses....)
He never misses an opportunity to harp on his father’s literary status but 1 Madhushala does not a legend make. His mother Teji (who is critically ill, god bless her) was another go getter who loved to flaunt her proximity to Indira Gandhi.
And by the way their real name isn’t even Bachchan. It was a name they took on later. See any social climbers anyone?

Amitabh was at pains to stress that the wedding was to be a "small family affair".
But the hypocrite that he is, couldn’t explain how a “simple family affair” included 350 guests, baraat in 7 Volvo buses & crazy black cat commandos running around beating journalists.

The consummate actor that he is, he wiped away at a moist eye as he talked to a ‘friendly’ journalist.
“My mother is very ill and we want to just complete the basic wedding rituals tastefully keeping her condition in mind” he said just before leading the baraat out to the raucous beats of 'Kajra Re..'

I am sure Mama found it perfectly tasteful.

I’ve always felt that Abhishek atleast was a decent boy with a sensible head on his shoulders but what was he wearing at the wedding? Why did he come dressed like an extra from a period film?

Chunky (for want of a better word) Emeralds? Jeweled head-dress with a feather? Strings and strings of pearls? 51 kg zari work on his dress (again for want of a better word)?

If you fans of the AB Circus feel that I am being unnecessarily harsh on them then the following is an excerpt from Amitabh's father, Harivansh Rai Bachchan’s autobiography In The Afternoon Of Time where he describes his son's wedding beautifully. Some of the ‘more’ beautiful parts have been highlighted in red for your reading pleasure.

“By the third week of May, Zanjeer had been proclaimed his first hit, and a week later, Amitabh gave us the news that he and Jaya were to marry.

The wedding, long foreseen, was set for June 3, 1973 and was to be kept secret, because with Amitabh's rising popularity, the crowds of admirers gathering round the house had been growing every day. Teji invited Mrs Gandhi by telephone: as was expected, she sent her felicitations but could not come herself (just as well -- her coming would have been the end of the secrecy); Sanjay would represent the family.

Jaya's parents wanted the marriage to be conducted in the Bengali manner, to which we had no objection. The first stage was the var-puja, the veneration of the groom, which involved Jaya's father coming to Mangal (Amitabh's residence) with gifts and conducting a small ceremony; I then reciprocated by doing the same for the bride at Beach House.

I noticed something quite unexpected at Beach House: nobody in the family, apart from Jaya, showed even the slightest trace of pleasure.

Amit looked so splendid that his mother prayed to Hanuman to protect him from the evil eye. Before fixing the bridgroom's veil of flowers, I said, my voice thick with emotion, that anyone wanting to see his face should have a good look now.

Then it was time to go out to the three cars that were standing at the ready. When the neighbours asked what the long decorative strings of light bulbs signified, we explained that Amitabh would be shooting a film here the next night. Nobody had an inkling that a wedding was under way, and the three cars driving off were assumed to be part of the film rehearsals.

The barat was welcomed without fanfare in front of the Skylark building; a few people gathered to watch, but there were no crowds.

We went up in the lift, Jaya was in her bridal adornment, and for the first time, I saw a bashful shyness on her face and realised what a particular aspect of beauty it is. She was enough of an actress to be able to simulate shyness, but what I saw now was very natural and real.A Bengali pandit conducted the marriage, whose ceremonial went on late into the night. The five baratis had dinner and set off home, leaving just the family members to eat alone later when the proceedings were completed. Then we too took our leave.

Before we left, I embraced the father of my new daughter-in-law and congratulated him on getting a son-in-law like Amit, expecting him to say the same in respect of Jaya.

But he simply said, 'My family is utterly ruined.'"

Truer words could not have been spoken. I rest my case.